In a mother’s womb.. we are all in the
dark.. we are all butt-ass naked… yet there is this sense of security… this
feeling of warmth that engulfs us all! Ah! This feeling of the ultimate
protection! Im not sure if it all made some/any sense to me then, but I think I
could hear (& somehow understand) these voices in my head like ALL the
time.. must have been her talking to me… thinking about me… praying for me…
smiling… crying… get concerned… all of these emotions felt only for me… Ah!
This feeling of the ultimate love!!
How did I become this person though? Why do
I hurt her? Why does she cry because of me? If all she ever wanted… prayed for…
pleaded for… even begged for… was for me to be a good person… how the fuck did
I become this nasty crazy bitch of a person… if all she ever does is care… how
is it that it concerns me when she invades my space.. my privacy… & more
importantly how did the “I” & the “me” & the “my” come into the
picture, when it was her who started it all… after all, I WAS just an aftermath
of a protein bomb explosion in her womb… Ah! This feeling of ultimate
ungratefulness!!!
How did I become this? How did I get the
quantitative right to be an “I” when qualitatively I am just a miniature piece
of her… How? How? How? How can we be so
contrasting when essentially we are just the same… Its driving me insane… so
much so, that its im penning this down!!! I wish I had any answers… I wish I
could stop hurting her so much… but I am sure, I won’t… I can’t… but there is
one thing I sure can do… I can tell you mum… no matter what I say or do or how
bad I behave… I do… always… at the back my head.. LOVE YOU MOM… Ah! This
feeling of ultimate gratitude!
No comments:
Post a Comment