Relationship Phobia???

Everyday... i learn something new... & it amuses me most when i learn something new about myself... i always knew that i am a flirt... but i still learned something new about the flirt in me by reading the papers yesterday... it seems, i have commitment phobia, i always wondered why.. apparently, the paper had an answer that i never could put my finger on to..

relationships have always been a challenge for me.. pursuing them is a challenge... but i love it... but the bigger challenge that i've always had is that once in, I'm just not happy... maybe i've always dated the wrong men... the kinds who cry or make me do their home work or those who crib about not being strong enough... but the fact is.. i've never been happy!!!

its like setting up on a project... the guy is not ready... so i have gotta chase after... it gives a rush.. but like DT said, once im there... i dunno what to do.. the mission is accomplished but m with a whining loser... i just dont know what to do then.. Moral police won't lemme run either.. & i get stuck being unhappy!!!

its funny how DT made me realize, when i pursue weak, i get weak & then i regret... its DT that made me realize, that i have got to raise the stakes.. i have got to stop going after the projects & target to chase who loves the chase just as much as i do.. so that the journey is always a chase.. & as soon as the phobia arises in one, the other one drives it away!!!