The Rebel . . . A Perspective . . .

Daddy wonders what went wrong...
why does my son dislike me...
why does my son rebel so much??
why does my son wanna run away???
i thought i am a good parent...
i give good food to eat...
i give good clothes to wear...
i give a good lifestyle...
i even give him good pocket money!!!

Sonny wonders what did he do wrong...
why doesn't daddy gimme what i deserve...
why can he never not trust me...
is good food enough???
are good clothes enough???
is this a good lifestyle???
is a good pocket money all that there is???

daddy said... if you want something... you have to work for it...
he thinks im a rebel....
he refuses to give me the pocket money...
i.e. if i dont do the assigned chores...
i say... its not about the pocket money...
infact... i dont event want this extra pocket money...

Daddy gave me Queen Bee* like he promised...
i loved her... her awesome rides...
i took such good care of her...
i hate chores... i hate cleansing... but...
i washed her... i cleaned her...
i oiled her... i greased her...
i got her timely pollution checks...
i got her extra premium everytime...
he gave me extra pocket money for the same!!!

Then comes the son in law...
he gave her my Queen...
just because he is older...
just because he has been around cars more...
i still love her... but i know im never gonna get her...
then why should i wash her... clean her???
why should i oil her.... grease her???
why why why... when i cant even take her ride???

you took away something i loved...
i dint love the washing... the cleansing... the oiling... the greasing...
i hated it... i just did it cuz she was mine...
i just did it cuz i could take her ride...
i did it cuz it was a package deal...
i had her... & for the good offered (the rides)...
i did the bad (washing, cleansing...)...
why would i do the bad if im not even getting the good...
im not a rebel... im fighting for what i deserve...
its not about the pocket money...
its about her... i want her back!!!

*QueenBee --> The Beetle

Background :: Daddy gave Queens to sonny for a short while; while elder sis was getting married... but he never intended to give her to him permanently... gave him the same temporarily, just so she could be running & does not rot... however, he never told him the same... the son believes he deserves Queens as he took real good care of her... but for daddy he was just a means to keep her running... so is sonny darling justified in wanting her??? or is daddy dear justified in getting upset with the son & stopping his pocket money cuz he dusn wanna oil & grease queen anymore?

Definitely Maybe. . .

I maybe travelling… I maybe shopping… I maybe running… I maybe with my folks… I maybe with my friends… I maybe alone… my activities change… my peeps may change… but, one thing never changes… I somehow lose my debit card every time… every bloody time! I check my phone each time… but noone makes any purchases… no SMS flashing xxxxx amount has been deducted; ever… if it is stolen… why no purchase… I think about reporting it but wonder if I really should… maybe its not lost.. maybe I just misplaced it… but then I think, lets be safe & block the card… but before I can do that... I wake up… It’s a recurring dream… the characters change… the places change… but the dream never really changes!

Its disturbing how dreams get to you… they get to me at least… & its even more irritating that they shout & scream things that I don’t wish to accept… apparently I don’t even wish to acknowledge the same even in my dreams… me wondering about whether or not I should block the card is my negligence towards accepting what I should “MAYBE”… & its irritating that its still a maybe… even in my dream… so maybe it actually is not lost… its just hiding somewhere!

You may wonder what the EFF does my dream really represent… well… dreaming of losing your debit card can mean many a things… of course dreams are open to interpretation basis your state of mind & state in life… for me… it currently represent a massive reduction in self esteem… me not blogging in quite some time & when doing little, blogging frustration maybe a good key! Maybe… this word… its just stuck in my head… my life actually…

 

Am I at the brink of losing it??? Maybe…

But then again… I still am not sure…

Afterall… the debit card is just lost… but there has not been any deduction in the balance… so… maybe my self esteem is calling out to me... maybe it wants me to look for it... maybe it wants me to find its direction... maybe it wants me to fight for it... 

just MAYBE!!!