Like I’ve said before… our
mind is a beautiful complex machine that works in its quarter billion
mysterious ways… we have the tendency to learn… unlearn… exhibit what we have
learned… think… forecast… act accordingly… blah blah blah!!! We think… we understand…
we estimate… we consider… we rubbish… we re-consider… we wonder… WONDER!!! & dammit… do I wonder…
I wonder a lot… I wonder so much at time… about a gazillion things… I wonder
enough that this is my 2nd post dedicated to wondering… same
wonder-full thought… just new things to wonder about…
Off late I was wondering…
Ive been the boomerang..
it din’t matter how u threw me… I’d always turn back around & be back in
the game… I would always think in my head I wont ever go back… cuz u don’t
deserve me… but I’d eventually always make the same mistake… & when it was
actually all said & done… & I had cried & sweared enough & when
the once I got sympathies started to feel like “there she goes again”… I wore the
other face & put up a smile… & when I dint start all about it… they’d
ask me.. how am I doing… I would smile & say that im doing just fine… I’d
lie & say that you’re not on my mind… but.. when I’d see them holding hands
& walking as twos… I’ve been forced to face the fact… that im… im NOT over
you… & I wonder... if I ever will get over you… EVER?
& then when everybody
waits for me to breakdown & fall out.. while everybody needs to hear that
one more crispy piece of gossip to sympathise with me in the face & make me
the laughing stock behind my back… when everyone is waiting for me to do that
one more stupid thing… I suddenly realize “what doesn’t kill you makes u
stronger eh?”… & that I need nobody else to complete me… SUDDENLY, comes
along this someone new.. I leave behind the tears & smile once again… oh
yea… & its again brighter than the sun… so this is good bye… after all… the
old flame needs to be blown off to hit the dark… so that YOU can enjoy the sun
shine once again… eh? But then it makes me wonder… there is this someone new
& im smiling all over again… did I ever give a fuck to you? & I have
witnessed this like uuuuumm… yea… I’ve had my share of love affairs…
Love… love has always made
me wonder… I think I first understood love as an emotion that I felt for the
BACKSTREET BOYS… But what amazes me is how I now feel about the new boy band…
“One Direction”… awwwwwwwwwwwwwww… I feel like a love struck teenager all over
again… their voices… their peppiness… I am soooooooo in love all over again… im
sorry Backstreet Boys.. I know I thought no one could ever replace you… not
even a real lover… & a real lover actually NEVER came even remotely close…
but One Direction beat you already… made me wonder, if my love for you was ever
so true? Or am I just a bubbly peppy crazy forever teenager at heart who loves
the bubblegum pop boy bands “TILL DATE”???
But then I think about John
Mayer… & I wonder if I actually feel if that is love or do I just feel what
a *THE* celebrity feels… I mean seriously… “Neon” is my caller tune cuz I
actually am “always buzzing just like… Neon… NEON”… & when I hear him sing…
when I hear those words… “& this is not to say… there never comes a day… ill
take my chances & start again… & when I look behind.. I’ll thank my
younger time… PERFECTLY LONELY”… or when he
says… “MY STUPID MOUTH has got me in trouble… ive said too much again… I’d
rather be a mystery, than she "he in my case" desert me… I’m never speaking up again.. STARTING
NOW”… but hell somebody do something about all this wondering.. cuz I cant stop
the talking as long as there is this wondering!!! ;P
