What a Week!!!

There is this famous saying... when your are down.. don't fret... cuz the only way you can go is… up!!! it is an excellent way to console yourself when things went really wrong for you one fine day!!! cuz you can wake up next morning & fix everything... make it prefect... just the way you want!!! But what do you do... when your one day goes bad... you keep your spirits up & face the next day.. n it goes bad too??? well then, you gotta face the sunshine the third day... it has to be right the third time... right???

but... my last week sucked royally... i was kinna hoping for some air now...

July 23rd: To bring an end to a never ending drama... i was rude to that one person who meant the whole world to me once... the one person who i renounced the world for... the one person i fought the whole world for... i was rude to him... so that he can let go & move on... n he said... you have screwed my life... wow... im highly obliged!!!

the weekend: i was in a pretty bad state already… to add on to my problems, the marriage obsessed aunty paid a visit… though im really nice to the uncle aunty generally… but when she picked on the same topic again… & said “geetu, get married… I want to dance” I couldn’t resist but say “if you just want to dance, I can arrange for a dance party for you” & then, began the whole marriage lecture…

The topping: July 26th: my dad reminded me how the greatest decision in my entire life was my worst decision... how i screwed my life & my father's image over the guy who now thinks i screwed his life... great... i left him & he thinks i have screwed his life... & even though i have left him, i have screwed his life & my dad’s image at his ex-office which also happens to be my ex-office!!!

July 27th: I was tired from sleepless nights due to cough & cold, from the past few weeks... & came home early from college to just hit the sack... & was fast asleep by 8:30 pm... but that's not the time to sleep na... obviously there was commotion in the house... but i ultimately was able to sleep peacefully by 9... but my pa came & woke me up at 10:30 & asked me to sleep in the AC room... & freak man, i was so bloody not able to sleep till 4 am then! :X

so.. 5 days of disaster... 1 full bloody week... even a week has 5 tiresome days followed by 2 days of rest & peace... so i expected some good today... but o man... i really must be a magnet to irritation... cuz today... look what i did...

July 28th: class got over at 2:30pm... I, along with sahil, reishabh & chaddha went to the basement, cuz i parked my car there... but freak… the darn car was so bloody missing… I looked here there bloody everywhere… & I almost had a nervous break down… but then I suddenly remembered that I parked it right outside gate 1 cuz there was too much jam when I reached college today! Thankfully, I had a sigh of relief when I saw it standing where I did park it… so I go like *puk puk* (central lock)… haan.. freak.. why dint the central lock work??? Maybe I dint press the damn thing properly.. so I tried again… & again… & again… till I went mad!!! So I just opened the damn thing the traditional way… but it went like *taiaaentaaeeaaeeeee tudutududu tiktiktiktik……….. * (alarm)… started the ignition… didn’t work…. closed the damn thing… didn’t work… nuthn freaking worked… called reishabh & sahil… they tried all kina mechanics…. Dint work… I wanted to scream loud…. But I just took a lift home!

Thankfully things are going fine for papa… so he got the car fixed… I hope I have had my share of crap for one full year… please bhagvaan… ab meri life ko boring bana do for some time… im sick of this everyday drama!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!!!!

Whatz the Hustle About?

Growing up was fun… or so I feel at least… you can laugh at what you want… you can cry about anything… you can eat the way you wish to… slobber all around… feed the table… you can play with dolls… or go “weight 250 pounds *clash*” on the trump card game… life is just so easy… you don’t like that the pig needs to painted gray… Fuck it.. you bloody paint it red maan!!!

Now… you have a cold & you slurp on hot tea.. & people look at you & say “oh my God.. what a gavaar (uneducated filth)!!!” your manager says that he wants not more than 50 odd bugs in the program by the evening & the 51^st invites a spank… no.. not literally.. I meant word spank!!! You get home.. tired & wish to rest a bit… but you need to go to the market & get the clothes from the boutique… your head is hurting.. but you cannot rest cuz u have gotta turn in your report before the clock strikes mid night a.k.a. before the day ends…

They say… once you grow up... you will get independent… independence… I have been craving for it all my life… I wanna stay up late & blog… just cuz I feel that way… I wanna get up by 11 am on weekends… I don’t care what the world thinks… I just wanna sleep up that late… shit man… m 25 & I have been given everything except the liberty to make my own decisions… & then im told… its high time you get married… relatives... family friends… “get married… get married… get married” why the F should I get married… if im still a kid & need someone else to make all my decisions.. how the freggin' hell am i old enough to get married? if im not mature enough to make my own decisions… im definitely not mature enough to get married dammit!!!

One good reason…

All your friends are getting married… so??? look around mapa.. they are getting married with their bfs/gfs… they are not being pushed into an arranged marriage!!!

All your cousin’s got married… so??? Their life.. they think they are settled enough.. I am not all that settled… mentally or financially!!!

Everyone in the colony is getting married… even kids younger to you… so??? Their parents ain’t raising me up… you wanna get me married just because everyone around is???

Log kya kahengay… what will the society say??? Let the society go to hell… I don’t give a damn to the society… I gotta live my life…. The society will blabber & forget… but once im tied into something… I can’t forget!!!

Tujhay kuch kehna hi bekaar hai (its worthless saying anything to you)… then, don’t talk to me… if you wanna talk to me, don’t bring up this topic in our conversations!!!

Goodbye!

I know i seem heartless... cuz i left you standing... i know you were waiting... you had been waiting for hours just to see me... to hear me call your name... to smile at you when i see your face... to hug you and make you feel safe and warm again... i know you travelled for two hours cuz i said i will meet you for an hour... i know you came an hour in advance just to meet me for that one hour... i know you kept waiting those two hours for me to show up... i know you waited even more thinking i just might change my mind and show up... i know you were heart broken and cried the two hours on your way back... i know it all!!!

I know you wanted my support then... i know i was your whole world back then... and my turning my back on you left you distressed... i know you loved me with all your heart and soul... i know you still do and secretly pray that i come back... i know why you update your fb status though you’re not a social person... i even know what frustration made you break your cell phone... i know how you delete full written messages seconds before sending them to me... i know how you sulk on dates that we once called our anniversaries!!! I do too... i guess that’s why i’m writing this one to celebrate the same today! Cheers!!! P.S. I wrote this on 10th April'10... that could have marked 4 years for us!

I remember how you considered me your sweet lil’ angel and held my hand proudly to show off to the world... and i know the devil that i became and ditched your hand when you needed me the most... i guess i knew i would have fallen weak in my knees when i would have seen your face... i guess i was not strong enough to say a goodbye... i guess i still can’t hear you say my name... or hear your voice... cuz in it, i can hear your pain... i guess i never can meet you again to say a proper goodbye... i guess your birthday was the last time i could have ever had met you... i guess our last meeting & the birthday gift i gave you, was not just my birthday gift.. it was my farewell to you!!!

Life teaches us to move on... i have lodzza friends... i moved on fast... now is your turn... i’ve kept an eye and know you’re doing better... and i know you can be good... but before i leave forever, i just wanted to remind you... there are many a lessons that life teaches you... one is to trust in yourself... two is to be good... three is to be true to yourself... four is to be true to people who love you... five is to keep commitments that you make... six is to bid farewell if it does not work out... ... ... ... ...

P.S. i’m not the centre of life... your life can go on without me... just give it a try! Be good! J