Resolution - Check !

Its that time of the year... for the check again... so here goes... the year of resolutions yet again.. some done... some ummm... ummmm... lets see...

1. BECOME INDEPENDENT; u have lived on ur father’s income a long time… time to get independent & possibly repay! (yeah baby... sooooo damn done... i am so freaky proud of this one!!! :D)

2. SAVE; when u make money… u must learn to save… u gotta get rid of ur education loan asap! (repaying my loan on MY OWN... sucha nice feeling to be able to take care of your own expenses 2:0)

3. SAY NO WHEN NEEDED; you will be working soon… u better know when to say no… else u will end up committing much more than u can deliver! (o hell yea... said no... & said it loud & clear... & thankful that i did not decide to go with the flow then... \m/ 3:0)

4. WATCH NEWS; ok… u don’t like aaj tak & zee news… u always have BBC & CNBC… & u have 2 televisions for God’s sake! (i obviously knew this was gonna be sucha a fail... buhuuu 3:1)

5. READ; daily dose of newspaper & a monthly dose of magazine & novels! (did read... still try to... somewhat done... 4:1)

6. BE DIPLOMATIC; agar ghee seedhi ungli se na niklay… toh ungli tedi karo… u gotta learn to work around things to get what u really want! (am i diplomatic or what... in even making my resolutions... can never go wrong with this one ;P 5:1)

7. AVOID FIGHTS; if it will turn into a fight… walk away from the topic... but if ur not allowed to walk away… ensure u make ur point clear enough to avoid the topic popping up again! (been there... done that... a 100%... 6:1)

8. DON’T FORGIVE; its really no use forgiving… u end up being taken for granted + ur not the forgive & forget type in any case… forgiveness is the key to YOUR unhappiness! (though i pretty much succeeded at it... i think i really wanna fail at it now... im gonna forgive u... cuz im gonna find another u ;P filhaal k liye... 7:1)

9. HONE YOUR CULLINERY SKILLS; u love eating… make something urself… whaz the use of watching m’chef if u never cook anything??? Cook at least once a month! (i did cook 12 times in this year; i believe... for whatever reason... i did... 8:1)

10. EAT EVERYTHING; ur fussy... thaz OK… but try everything… will help u develop taste! (started with drinking milk & figured out that i am lactose intolerant... but did start eating a few things i would never have had dreamed of eating last year, so 9:1)

11. SHOO AWAY HAIR & SKIN WOES; water is ur solution… its gotten much better since u got water into ur system… drink lozza water maaaaaaaaaaaaan! (o yea... im sucha water baby now... 10:1)

12. LIVE FOR SELF… u have lived the way others’ wanted, a long time… ur job must b ur turning point! (been up & down both... living for others is nice too... cuz you know they love you... but i did do a lotta things i wanted to do... 11:1)

& most importantly….

13. FIND TIME FOR SELF; do ur daily dose of su-do-ku, play ur freggin’ scrabble, blog when u feel like… ensure u do something u like EVERYDAY! (did i wanna do this... yea... did i do it... hell yea... what am i... A W E S O M E 12:1)

12 done outta 13... like Barney would say... LEGEN... wait for it... DARY!!!

Heights of Love… Raising the Curtains!!

Continued from http://geets13.blogspot.com/2011/10/heights-of-love-prelude.html

Fate is always working its magic… somehow… it is always working in its mysterious ways to establish that connection… & when you feel it… its fireworks!!! The magic can bring the most incompatible together… no wonder it is called “fire on ice”…

As Adam stared into her bright blue eyes… he found the answers to all his questions… he had been wondering why he cant stop but think about her… Adam the serious kinds, always detested the cute & the talkative… yet thaz exactly what attracted him to Grata… he always loved his dark gothic bearded & curly hair look… yet he shaved it off just because it probably scared her… he always made fun of women below 5’7”, but all he wanted to do is wrap this 5’2” in his arms… he knew his answers… he could see it in her eyes… he loved her innocence!!

Grata still confused… still jumbled… flashes of life passing by her eyes… she had always been the man in her relationships… she had always longed to feel protected than to be the protector… & here was Adam… just THAT guy... looking into her eyes… showing her that life… because every once in a while, amid all the randomness, laughers, cries, happiness, sadness & every other thing that constitutes it… something unexpected happens which pushes us far & beyond… & this was the moment to seize… she saw in his eyes… that he would love her & protect her & provide for her… all his life… to top it, she always dug tall men… at least 5’10” & Adam was taller, stronger & fitter… yet… it seemed she was in a state of face freeze… word freeze...

As the cars honked from behind… she blinked her eyes… wondering why… she was outta words… a woman of a thousand words without one at this point in time… he’s hot alright… there’s this vibe between us… alright… but she did see him fighting 2 guys & almost killing them right before bumping into her… she thought to herself “what if he is a goon… a criminal… he is a giant in comparison to me… what if he gets angry at me someday… if he did slap me… I would actually die”… while in her thoughts, she closed the car door & without a word and drove away…

TO BE CONTINUED. . . http://www.geets13.blogspot.in/2012/09/heights-of-love-question.html

Lovely Sadly… Hardly Lovely!!!

I look at myself… I know I am a lovely person… yet I decide to “just” feel bad about the guy trying to pull up his bike post an accidental slip on the road… I know it is what it is… at this point in time… at this moment… I know no matter what I’d think… I would still be there… cuz given a chance I still would repeat the same… cuz I can never be sure if that guy is a lovely person or not… cuz I can never be sure if he actually needs my help or is it just a plan to loot me/somebody/anybody…

I know I am lovely person because I know children are like mirrors… & even though I see them from a distance… they in their school bus & me in my car… I still see them poking their heads outta their windows just to wave & smile so bright at me… happened not once… not twice… but on a daily basis… yet I decide not to give a lift to the student who seems to be getting late for college… cuz I can never be sure if he is actually getting late or is it just a plan to loot me/somebody/anybody…

I know I am a lovely person cuz I always help the elderly carry their bags… help them across the streets… have even helped them hire an auto… suggested to knock off the lines & bought their movie tickets along with mine… even awwwwwwed at them when seeing them holding hands in the park & walked & talked with them & inspired them to walk brisk to stay fit… yet I’ve never given money to an old couple with their children who got mugged & don’t have money to take a bus to their place, nor have I ever let them into my car… cuz I can never be sure if they really were mugged or is it means of easy money or is it just a plan to loot me/somebody/anybody…

I look at myself… I know I am a lovely person… I look at you… I think you are a lovely person… but I can actually never be sure… so please don’t mind if I "also consider" you being lovely, as just a plan to loot me/somebody/anybody!!!

Dear John . . .

Dear John, I have missed you for quite some time now… you have been gone for quite a while now… I know I love you, but I seem to have forgotten your face… I know you have a sweet voice… but its real memory has erased… I remember how your touch gave me goose bumps… I know I miss it, but I don’t remember how it really felt… Dear John, I think I remember how you loved me… guess that’s what holds me back from letting go… Dear John, I feel that you still want me… but I guess its nothing but a hope…

Its been 6 years, 9 months & 17 days since we last met… its obvious I forgot your face… its been 6 years, 9 months & 12 days since we last spoke… its obvious I forgot your voice as well… Its been 5 years, 8 months & 10 days since I’ve been wanting to give up… but you always said “When the world says, ‘give up’… hope whispers, ‘try it one more time’.” But dear John, it feels like I’ve battled enough… it actually is time to give up… because dear John, no matter how much you want… I can’t wait for you anymore…

I know I said, I’ll love you forever… im sorry, I guess I lied… I know I said, I’ll wait forever… but guess who waits for none… time & tide… but dear John, do believe me when I say, I tried… yet, my dear, I am just as human as I look… if I were a mahatama, I would have made this earth a better place… but I am just a regular girl… all I want is a better place & life for myself… Dear John, I have loved you… but you’ve been gone way too long & I have emptiness inside… Dear John… I cant wait for you any longer… I believe, its now time to say goodbye!!!

P.S. I guess, somewhere, I still love you!

Dreams Uninterrupted. . .

its fascinating... how your mind works... its fascinating... how it gives you the signs... its fascinating... how it lets you discover...

i thought for quite some time that i lost all the weight, became seriously ill & underweight, looked like a corpse & was under extreme amount of stress... for just 1 reason... the break up... i swore by it... until i realized... i wasn't in all that much love in the 1st place... all that i liked about him was that he was good looking... but he dint care... & i knew that from day 1... i always knew where it was heading & though i've cried a million rivers over it... frankly, im glad its over...

its funny... how i then dreamed a lot about my mother... about being in pain... even playing acoustic guitar...  technically, seeing your mom in your dreams denotes the fact that in your waking life, you have preoccupied thoughts in your mind that need sorting out... to dream of being in pain represents that you're being too hard on yourself about something that was not in your control... playing an acoustic guitar... ummmm... ill just say that it is fantasy based... though all of these could fit in with the break up stand... yet... there is this vivid dream i saw... that made me realize that my condition is not so because of the break up...

i saw a dream where i was standing against a huge wall with a olympic swimming pool sized puddle of mud in front of me fenced by 2 feet tall * 1/2 feet thick concrete walls on 2 sides...  & thorn wire mesh which needed to be jumped across to get to the safer land... i decide to step into the puddle instead of walking on the side concrete & realize that the puddle has a crocodile in it... & goodness gracious me... i still dont decide to walk on the fence.. i actually try & fight the croc... for my life... i try & kill it... & even though im not able to kill it, i successfully am able to evade its attacks by sitting on top of it... when i reach for the wire mesh... i see a monkey at the top, who tries to help me to get to the other side... & for some reason, i avoid the monkey & climb the wire mesh... jump on to the safer side & look behind at the croc with a sense of accomplishment... this dream represented exactly what was happening in my life then!!!

now... im not an expert on dreams... but i could trace this one to my real life stage by stage... step by step... & that's when i realized... all the stress & falling sick was because of this... this thing that was answered by this croc monkey dream... apparently... during my breakup time... i was also going through a bad career phase... i had consciously taken my career down the drain... i realized that within 10 days of the job... i wanted it so bad... but it was a bad bad career move... the people there showed me how miser they were even before i joined... the woman who took my interview... made me pay for the refreshments, but took the bill from me on purpose to get a reimbursement from the office... the boss was always in for a free treat... but whenever we went dutch, he took a walk.. anyway... so the conscious wrong career choice was stepping into the muddle... the croc represents a powerful person who will kill you... career wise... somebody powerful in the organization who always has his way & does not let you grow... but i being a stubborn ass fought the croc & dint give in... but even though i was fighting, he still was powerful... which lead to the stress... the monkey helping represents a cunning friend who helps for a purpose... & i did have offers from friends to switch... but declining help meant exactly what i did... i did not take anyone's favor...

today... im in a much better position... not stressed... smiling like before... the face dusn look pale anymore... thankfully, im not underweight either anymore --> that is such a relief to my mom!!! Dreams really help you interpret your life... dont ignore them... dont interrupt them... understand them... work on them... FIX YOUR LIFE!!!