Dreams Uninterrupted. . .

its fascinating... how your mind works... its fascinating... how it gives you the signs... its fascinating... how it lets you discover...

i thought for quite some time that i lost all the weight, became seriously ill & underweight, looked like a corpse & was under extreme amount of stress... for just 1 reason... the break up... i swore by it... until i realized... i wasn't in all that much love in the 1st place... all that i liked about him was that he was good looking... but he dint care... & i knew that from day 1... i always knew where it was heading & though i've cried a million rivers over it... frankly, im glad its over...

its funny... how i then dreamed a lot about my mother... about being in pain... even playing acoustic guitar...  technically, seeing your mom in your dreams denotes the fact that in your waking life, you have preoccupied thoughts in your mind that need sorting out... to dream of being in pain represents that you're being too hard on yourself about something that was not in your control... playing an acoustic guitar... ummmm... ill just say that it is fantasy based... though all of these could fit in with the break up stand... yet... there is this vivid dream i saw... that made me realize that my condition is not so because of the break up...

i saw a dream where i was standing against a huge wall with a olympic swimming pool sized puddle of mud in front of me fenced by 2 feet tall * 1/2 feet thick concrete walls on 2 sides...  & thorn wire mesh which needed to be jumped across to get to the safer land... i decide to step into the puddle instead of walking on the side concrete & realize that the puddle has a crocodile in it... & goodness gracious me... i still dont decide to walk on the fence.. i actually try & fight the croc... for my life... i try & kill it... & even though im not able to kill it, i successfully am able to evade its attacks by sitting on top of it... when i reach for the wire mesh... i see a monkey at the top, who tries to help me to get to the other side... & for some reason, i avoid the monkey & climb the wire mesh... jump on to the safer side & look behind at the croc with a sense of accomplishment... this dream represented exactly what was happening in my life then!!!

now... im not an expert on dreams... but i could trace this one to my real life stage by stage... step by step... & that's when i realized... all the stress & falling sick was because of this... this thing that was answered by this croc monkey dream... apparently... during my breakup time... i was also going through a bad career phase... i had consciously taken my career down the drain... i realized that within 10 days of the job... i wanted it so bad... but it was a bad bad career move... the people there showed me how miser they were even before i joined... the woman who took my interview... made me pay for the refreshments, but took the bill from me on purpose to get a reimbursement from the office... the boss was always in for a free treat... but whenever we went dutch, he took a walk.. anyway... so the conscious wrong career choice was stepping into the muddle... the croc represents a powerful person who will kill you... career wise... somebody powerful in the organization who always has his way & does not let you grow... but i being a stubborn ass fought the croc & dint give in... but even though i was fighting, he still was powerful... which lead to the stress... the monkey helping represents a cunning friend who helps for a purpose... & i did have offers from friends to switch... but declining help meant exactly what i did... i did not take anyone's favor...

today... im in a much better position... not stressed... smiling like before... the face dusn look pale anymore... thankfully, im not underweight either anymore --> that is such a relief to my mom!!! Dreams really help you interpret your life... dont ignore them... dont interrupt them... understand them... work on them... FIX YOUR LIFE!!!