Oops... It Was a Mistake!

You never do anything right... i've been told that like a million times... i've made so many mistakes... that now, im conveniently blamed for everything that goes wrong... the mistakes of my past.. haunt me in the present... i cry... but you don't give a damn... and when you cry and i don't give a damn... then, i'm heartless!!!

i loved you.. like crazy... i could kill for you.. i could die for you... because i'm the give and take kinna person... i though you loved me..  so you got love in return... but when i was super confident on you... you pushed me off the cliff... i had a fall.. and a huge one... into the water.. i literally drowned... and i lost all the trust i had in you... but now you expect me to trust you again.. and because i have trouble doing the same... you're going all out and conveniently declaring that i walked out on you... that im a cheater... that it is my fault and i changed my colors... that i should understand... why... temme??? why should i understand???

i agree you stayed by my side when i needed you... but i stood by your side too... i fought for you... with everyone... i literally was fighting the whole dead darn world... because i was super confident... i was sure... but what did you do in return... when i was all alone with no one beside me but you, thaz when you told me the truth... thaz when you pushed me away... and i had to apologize... to the whole damn world.. cuz yes.. it was my fault.. i was on the wrong side... and the world accepted me back... and now, you want me back and hope for me to make the same mistake??? why???

i learned from my mistakes.. its high time, you learn from yourz!!!

I've Let Go... n I'm Not Coming Back!

i'm frank, honest and on the face... if i need your advice, i will ask for it... before giving you an advice, i will ask if you need it... if i ask you to do something, i mean it... if i tell you ill do something, i mean it even more... so if i tell you on your face... that im letting go off you... you gotta know, i am letting go... i don't even wanna be a formal friend!

you were nice to me... you were my whole world... when i let go off you... my world was go.. going... gone!!! but i am strong... and i overcame it... you learn to be strong too... don't blame me for loosing your world... if you were dedicated enough... even towards just yourself... you could still have had your world... but now, realize we have different worlds... n don't you dare blame my friends for this... they helped me rebuild my world again... they gave me a real world... n you gave me a real lesson... and you hurt me enough bad... so stop trying to hurt me more.. it doesn't work any more!!!

i can only take as much as i can.. then... i tell on the face... i can't bear it no more... i don't wanna talk.. n i'm not gonna talk... i will ignore your texts, your calls... i will even ignore your existence... and when i do the same... i don't mean to sound rude.. but i know this much... i've let go... n i'm not coming back!

Is It Love... Or Sheer Infatuation!

okay... as the love month is about to end.. this one is a dedication to the love Feb fever! lol!!!

At the mirror… you fix your hair… and put your make up on.. you’re insecure about the clothes you wear… I can’t see nothing wrong.. to me you look so beautiful… when you can’t make up your mind.. its half past eight, its getting late.. its ok.. take your time.. standing here… my hands in my pockets like I have a 1000 times…  thinking back.. it took one breath… one word to change my life… the first time I saw you.. it felt like coming home… if I never told you.. then, I just want you to knw.. you had me from hello!!!

I believe with all my heart, that every girl dreams that somebody will someday sing this song to her… i don't mean to sound like a "love at first sight" kinds... in fact... im a firm believer that you can be infatuated or lustful at first sight... but lo..ho..ve sounds pretty impossible! yet, for some reason.. my heart still skips a beat every time i hear this one! i guess, its one of those fantasies that don't really come true.. right??

but what do you do... when somebody tells you that they remember the clothes you wore when you first walked by them... or how you smiled at your friends when you were passing by them... or how you got frustrated and scratched your head... or how you giggled and laughed when you were supposed to be serious... or how they thought of reasons to start a conversation... and then they tried to hit a conversation... but you were too busy so you ran away!!!

what do you do... when you realize.... that in spite of being dead damn sleepy, you have stayed up all night just to talk to them... that you miss them even though you like met them practically 5 hours ago... that you wish  that they miss you too... that you smile when you think about them... or read things that they wrote on a public portal that was only for you to know that it was addressed to you....

what do you think it is.. when you change you mobile plans to the cheapest outgoing... what would you think when the cheapest is dead damn cheap... but you would wanna make it even more cheaper by staying by their side.... what do you think it is.. when all that you think about is them???

do you think this is love.. or just sheer infatuation... cuz after all you don't really know them all that well right... its not like you know them inside out... you always know what is going on inside your brain.. but you can never know whats going on inside their brain... you can never know what they will turn out to be 3 months or 3 years down the lane... so.. when... its the "love at first sight", you'd better be careful! lol!

BSB Mania.. Dhuph!

They came.. they performed... they left... and all i did was... stay at home... and mull over not being able to go... i was in the 8th standard when i had made up my mind, that no matter what happens... no matter how old i get... no matter how old they get... or whether or not the band is still together... i will soooooooo meet them... even if that means spending lots of money and buying ticket for the weirdest parts of the world.

then, i grew up.. the band actually disintegrated and i thought... "bygones"... i forgot all about wanting to meet them and all... but till date... my sister tells me.. if for some reason anything related to BSB is on TV, i don't even blink an eye... i guess im not mad over them anymore... but first love is always first love.. right?

one fine morning, i read in the winter newspaper, backstreet boys might head India, that too Delhi and Bangalore... i though "might" is not sufficient.. so i googled... spend some good hours and figured out from their official site, that there is a good possibility... that day, it seemed brighter than sunshine, in spite of the cold... i told my father about it.. he gave me the look "you still mad about them or what???" then i said "papa, BSB will be hitting India, that too delhi... that too Okhla.. that is like just 15-20 away from here... I really wanna go!" my sister took my side... but my folks blandly refused!!!

i din't ask them again.. but my sister did pursue this for some time... even reminded my daddy that he once said to me "finish your XIIth and i will get you a ticket to Orlando... Go meet your BSB!" but my parents din't budge... today, i am so sad.. that instead of making my IMM presentation or studying for my Law test which is to be held tomorrow, this is what im doing! :(

Rude-Box!

i have this urge.. sometimes.. okhay.. mostly...to say rude things to people or probably slap someone really hard on their face... i don't slap people but i do tend to say things that are so extremely sour to the ear... this is the maximum rude i can be... and trust me... this rude really hurts when you are on the receiving end... i thought, people cannot get worse than me... but then i got to know about the inventors of the rude-box!

these people are so self engrost.. they don't care a shit about the world around... they scream and shout at people.. run over people... and blame others for all the wrongs... you create a dent in their car... and they will beat the shit out of you... but if you are on a bike... and for some reason they hit you from the behind... they do not even have the decency to help... or even apologize once... they just hit-n-run!

i cannot believe people can be so rude.. first, they make a mistake.. then, instead of accepting and providing help... they leave people lying on the road and run away... i mean.. don't they have any respect for life.. any decency... any morals... i mean... such hooligans are roaming there freely on the road who just hit people and run! :( don't even bother to turn around and see if the person they hit is dead or alive!!!

the worst part... one guy hits and runs.. and a thousand others surround the victim.. i mean let the victim breathe.. and why have you surrounded.. to help... i don't think so... you have surrounded to see a tamasha... you see 3 people try and put the unconscious victim into a car.. one of them is a girl... in a sari... trying to help.. but you just watch.. don't offer to help... bunch of loosers... thatz what the mere spectators are.. if you don't wish to help.. why do you even bother to stop and see.. carry on with your business assholes!

i swear, i have never wanted to kill so many people at the same time... i strongly believe now, i have all the rights to be rude to any and everyone... cuz this world that we live in a shitty rude-box!