The Man Who Knows Me the Best; Yet Does Not Know Me at all! #JohnMayer

John Mayer even sits as my wallpaper
on my phones - from over a year!

If there is one person in this world... who knows me inside-out; but still does not know me - its John Clayton Mayer.. There is not one song that the man has written/sung that I cannot connect with & say --> I do that/I feel that!!! In fact, there could be no better caller tune that can describe me... & that's the reason why you have not changed in years... I'm always buzzin just like Neon NEON!!!

Like i said, i feel every emotion the man feels, from the fact that I wanted to run through the halls of my high school screaming at the top of my lungs when i figured there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie (a facade) we've gotta rise above... to the thinking I'm gonna find another you with exactly this in mind "when i was your lover.. no one could do... if im forced to find another... i hope he looks like you... & he's nicer too"... to the number of times my stupid mouth has got me in trouble... i've said too much again!!! & then i wonder too how did they find me here? what do they want from me? all these vultures hiding right outside my door!!!

& when frustration reaches its stage of nirvana in my head... i too wonder if numb is the new deep? should i be done with the old me? & finally i decide "something's missing & i dont know how to fix it... i dont know what it is at all"... so stop this train... i wanna get off & go home again!!! cuz the fact is... we are all waitin'.. waitin' on the world to change... its not that we dont care... we just know that the fight ain't fair!!!

i still remember, i had a messy break up & like all stupid girls... i declared it on my fb wall "love is a verb" only to have a huge list on comments saying its more of a noun... & then i hear him sing it!!! i remember feeling like there were clouds of sulphur in the air.. it felt like bombs were falling everywhere... for me, it was heartbreak warefare! & for the ex it must have been freeeeee.. free fallin!!! when all the good girls are home with broken hearts!! Till date listening to Slow dancing in a burnin' room gives me a heartache!!! & i too believe... when you're dreaming with a broken heart... giving up is the hardest part...

there were times, when i knew someone loved me... but, i just would not accept... & as i know he too loves John Mayer just as much as me... everytime i hear Love Soon, it seems like he sings it to me! & all i wanna say is half of my heart is the part of a woman who's never truly loved anything! Or hold on to whatever you find baby.. hold on to whatever will get you through... i dont trust myself with loving you!!!

& then comes the story of my life.. The most frequently asked question since the past 2 years..."WHY are you single???" & John sings at the back of my head.. & this is not to say... there never comes a day.. i'll take my chances & start again... filhaal, i'm perfectly lonely... its the way that i want it!!!