Resolutions @ 2011

Ummmm… its that time of the year again… when u make multiple promises to self... aka make ur resolutions. :P

So… here i go again… RESOLUTIONS@2011!

1. BECOME INDEPENDENT; u have lived on ur father’s income a long time… time to get independent & possibly repay!

2. SAVE; when u make money… u must learn to save… u gotta get rid of ur education loan asap!

3. SAY NO WHEN NEEDED; you will be working soon… u better know when to say no… else u will end up committing much more than u can deliver!

4. WATCH NEWS; ok… u don’t like aaj tak & zee news… u always have BBC & CNBC… & u have 2 televisions for God’s sake!

5. READ; daily dose of newspaper & a monthly dose of magazine & novels!

6. BE DIPLOMATIC; agar ghee seedhi ungli se na niklay… toh ungli tedi karo… u gotta learn to work around things to get what u really want!

7. AVOID FIGHTS; if it will turn into a fight… walk away from the topic... but if ur not allowed to walk away… ensure u make ur point clear enough to avoid the topic popping up again!

8. DON’T FORGIVE; its really no use forgiving… u end up being taken for granted + ur not the forgive & forget type in any case… forgiveness is the key to YOUR unhappiness!

9. HONE YOUR CULLINERY SKILLS; u love eating… make something urself… whaz the use of watching m’chef if u never cook anything??? Cook at least once a month!

10. EAT EVERYTHING; ur fussy... thaz OK… but try everything… will help u develop taste!

11. SHOO AWAY HAIR & SKIN WOES; water is ur solution… its gotten much better since u got water into ur system… drink lozza water maaaaaaaaaaaaan!

12. LIVE FOR SELF… u have lived the way others’ wanted, a long time… ur job must b ur turning point!

& most importantly….

13. FIND TIME FOR SELF; do ur daily dose of su-do-ku, play ur freggin’ scrabble, blog when u feel like… ensure u do something u like EVERYDAY!

Winter Love!

i found this poem hiding in my closet.. Made me realize, i love this season, right from my bachpan time :D

It beeps two times... it beeps some more...

even though it shouldn't... it repeats some more...

please dont beep... any sooner again...

those 5 silent minutes... & then it beeps again...

ah... the winter snooze!

im all tucked up... from head to toe...
capped right up & booted below...
im all zipped up... but i still feel the chill...
sometimes downstream & other times, uphill...
ah.... the winter breeze!

i feel like a baby... who cant walk on its own...
im so stuffed... all clothes, cant feel a bone...
yet, jack frost finds the perfect kissing pose...
& places one tight one... up my nose...

ah.... the winter sneeze!

after all that is said & done...

there still one thing that cant be undone...

i will always love the winter season...

irrespective of rhyme or reason! ;P

The Resolutions.. the Done & the Undone!

Apparently... I had 13 resolutions for the new year 2010... some done.. some, ummm... i guess were impossible... This post is just to see how good i am at keeping promises to myself....

1. DO NOT FIGHT WITH YOUR FOLKS; unless they are being unreasonable!
(oops... now, this didnt happen... we fought.. & we fought a lot.... & for crappy things... from both the ends... so this one is scrapped :()

2. BE NICE TO PEOPLE; but remember, you don't have to be nice to everyone!
(this one was pretty diplomatic... so i will say, i pretty much achieved the same... ratio: 1:1 :))

3. LOOSE WEIGHT! Target 8.5 kilos to be lost by the end of the year!
               EXERCISE! At least 4 times in a week! (did not happen even once a week)
               EAT LESS, WAAAAAAAAAAAK MORE! (certainly did not happen)
(but thanks to internship... i lost a lotta weight in one go... lost 5.5 kilos... i guess its good enough... dont wanna loose anymore... so, lets say this was achieved, 1:2 :P)

4. GET A BOYFRIEND... you need someone to vent your frustration on! lol!
(got 1... apparently just got another person to fight with & increase my stress level... lol :D, 1:3)

5. IMPROVE YOUR DRESSING SENSE... i mean you can at least co-ordinate your clothes... right?
(seems it got better... loosing weight helped i guess... :P 1:4)

6.START READING
              The Newspaper: TOI n ET! (ha ha ha ha ha ha)
              Novels: any... just to get a head start into reading! (ha ha ha ha ha ha)
(guess my laughter says it all... 2:4)

7. TAKE CARE OF YOUR SKIN
              Drink lozza water. (tried.. lots in summers, decent enough in winters)
              Eat right... sleep right... think right (anyways, stress is NOT good)! (no... no.. & no :()
(but main motive achieved.. skin looks better.... so 2:5)

8. LOOK NICE... it will help you deceive yourself in times of misery!
(tried.. no help... :( 3:5)

9. SMILE.. you have an amazing smile... you just might have a boi fall for it! :P
(done dona done done ;P 3:6)

10. LAUGH: sometimes, when you laugh real hard.. your stomach gets a work out.. so laugh out your fat!
(hell yea.. laughed till i cried multiple times :D 3:7)

11. HELP MA... she knows how to get pa's permission for things you can't get permission for yourself!
(freak... this one NEVER happened... i must ensure i dont have such impossible ones in my resolution lists :'( 4:7)

12. STOP BEING DISGUSTING, IRRITATING & a PERVERT... be susheel!
(impossible... :( :( :( 5:7... seems my undone count is on an ever increase :()

13. CONTINUE YOUR BLOG... some people love it.. some like it... some dislike... some detest it.. most do not care... but you.. you love it... so keep up the work!
(the count came down like crazy... but i still wrote... cuz i love writing :P 5:8... my done lists is bigger than the undone 1... im sooooooooooooooooooooo happy ;P)

im glad i can keep 8 promises outta the 13 i made to self :D ;P

Why Grow Up?

o no no no no... this ain't gonna be the mango fruity advertisement synopsis... i mean... i agree its their tag line, but i can tell you from experience.. it so is true.. we grow up so old.. we get so mature... we stop dancing in the rain (but go to rain dance parties)... we stop being the adorable child we once were (but call our boyfriend/girlfriend "bacha... babu")... we become mean.. we become selfish... but, whether or not we accept... we still wanna be the very same child at heart.. who does not have to plot & plan or play politics to get attention... so... why grow up??? really???

well, the elders tell us...

you gotta grow up... you dont have no choice... because in this rat race... if ur left behind... then ur just left behind.. u'd never be able to catch up...

ummmmmmmm... ok... so id run along... behind... in front... but where does this rat race end???

& they say... it ends when u have achieved it all...

& when do i get to know that i have achieved it all???

its when u feel deep in ur heart... that now u have gotten everything & u can enjoy life to the fullest....

but what if i never feel that way... cuz u know, when i start to count.. then there are many a rat races... race to be rich... race to be successful... race to get married to a spouse who understands that i may not have enough time for them cuz im running in the race... yet, the race to be the best wife/husband... race to be the best mother/father... race to get our child admitted in the best school... race to ensure that our child aint left behind & is leading in his/her race... race to ensure our child can get the best college education... race to ensure that our child gets the best partner for life... race to ensure our grandchildren love us... race to ensure our children wanna take care of us when we are not in a condition to take care of self... i guess... that will be satisfying... :)

but the funny part is... if my race ends, when my children can take care of me & when i myself am not in a condition to do the same... then, when did i truly enjoy my life? when did i get the little happiness that i can get from dancing in the rain... or talking with friends for hours... or watching my favorite tom & jerry re-runs... or biting all my nails off while watching bourne series for the nth time... or painting for no reason... or doing my daily dose of su-doku from the papers... or reading the archies strip that appears there till date... or laughing till tears float my eyes just because everyone else is laughing like crazy!!!

dint i miss out on these really beautiful moments when i was in the race of growing up? why cant i just simply be... ME!

What i Feel About Life.. My Life!

Sometimes it takes a lifetime to find oneself & it requires conquering many a hurdles & facing many a failures! Sometimes, you know exactly what you are born to be, but, you take the wrong turn, yet, you move on & on in the same direction because its easier to tread that path!

You trade what you want to be with what you can be, but, you never end up satisfied! You know your satisfaction lies in what you want to be not what you have become but going there means starting from the scratch! But, I believe, it is utmost essential in life to be successfully satisfied than being successfully rich!

I believe I have found what I want to be in my life by taking a u-turn post “graduation”! I am an engineer & I have worked with a reputed software firm because I thought it can bring me success & money. Writing software is challenging & it always gave me a sudden rush. But, I always felt a void, as if I was missing out on something important in life!

For some reason, I have always been extremely fascinated with 4 things:

1. Colors
2. People & their behavior
3. Brands
4. Advertisements

What colors mean to me:

I have strong affiliation towards bold & neat colors. Dull colors do not entice me & make me feel as if life is boring. I believe colors add life to lives!

What I learn from others:

I have met many a people in my life & every new person I meet, makes me wonder how he/she is wired. It excites me to see how people behave in certain situations & for this reason; I have evolved as a person. My general observation about most people is that they take it easy until the last minute. Hence, I follow a simple rule when getting work done by others. Create a panic before the situation actually gets out of hand, this helps speeding things up so that the situation actually does not go out of hands, & stand unmoved when the situation is at its worst, this helps keeping the team together & bucking up their morale!

What Brands mean to me:

There are many products that look & feel the same... yet, you buy some & ignore some... what differentiates them is the brand & its influence on you... a blind test proved that Pepsi was better in taste yet, people prefer Coca-Cola... why... this is brand loyalty... this loyalty determines what you buy & what you don't... its funny how you like something yet dont buy it... & its funny how people can be manipulated to like or dislike a brand... this really interests me!

What impact advertisements have on me:

I have this peculiar habit of switching channels when television begins to bore me, but for some reason, I love advertisements! Every time I spot a new ad, I am filled with extreme enthusiasm. My mother tells me, as a kid, I used to throw tantrums while eating & the only way my parents could feed me was by showing me advertisements, I would suddenly become engrost in the ads & they would conveniently feed me!

Hence, I know these four will be utmost important in deciding how much I love what I do & I believe life is all about loving what you do!

Its a Miracle!

Everyday or the other.. i see a miracle... :)
it happens... whether or not you believe...
you were a miracle to someone...
someone will be a miracle to you someday!!!


the old boots you threw into garbage...
were a miracle to the janitor's son...
your immediate boss got a better job...
you loathed him... but he turned out to be your miracle... :)


sometimes in life...
you just got to realize...
that you are a miracle...
waiting to happen to someone!


we will witness a miracle...
today, tomorrow & everyday...
value the miracle...
its called LIFE!

Live it... Love it... Life is the Last Thing You Should Compromise With!

*True Story
*all names have been edited... :P

In this day, its very hard to a have home of your own... i know some who lived their whole life on rented accommodations... My daddy is a determined man... when our land lord refused to keep my milk (that i had to drink) in his fridge (when i was a baby); my dad got upset & a bought a fridge the next day... the landlord (sardar ji) got upset & chucked us out... within a year, we bought a janta... then a LIG... then a MIG (which we built up later & reside in till date)... then a HIG (which we rented out for 2 years & later sold off.... amity admission needed cash... lol)

i deviated from the real reason why i was writing this post... & that too so majorly... you would be shocked by the time you reach the end of it!

the only connection the 1st para has with this post is that the MIG that we live in, is face-to-face with a HIG... where Mr. T & his family lives... when we moved into this house (our sweet home)... the HIG mentioned was in shacks... it had a broken ceiling & it could collapse at any moment... but now when i look through my door... i see a huge 2.5 story awesomely built up house... when we moved into this house, Mr. T with his family lived in the HIG on rent... today he is its freggin' owner & he has many more properties (i have no clue how)... when we moved into this house, i was a kid & so were his daughters...

Note: i'm elder to his elder daughter by 2... My dad is a self made man & so is Mr. T (i believe)

today when i look out my door, i see their house lit up nice & bright.... why not, it was Diwali day before yesterday... but, why is lit up like a newly wed bride... oh... its because his daughter is getting married this month... the one who is younger to me by 2... she is tall, pretty face & to top it all, a MBA... but still, she is getting married so early... not a career woman haan??? i dont think so... its because even though she is old enough to get married, she still isen't old enough to make her own decisions.. what an irony! :P

As Mr. T. has risen from an almost broken-single-storied-rented-HIG to being the owner of multiple houses... he makes all the right moves... he makes all the decisions... & so, when he asked his daughter what kinda guy she wants to marry, & she told him that i wanna marry ******, all Mr. T. did was, give her a tight slap & now she is getting married to a guy she barely knows & never will love because he is not ****** & because Mr. T. said so & is giving away a 40 lakh apartment & LCDs (i know they bought 5) (& i am not aware of the other stuff)... to make her life comfortable which could not have been the same with *****, they would really have to struggle... i guess he made a trade... & she decided to be the practical one!

but i tell you what... even though the trade looks good... & even though his daughter will get happiness, she never will be content in life... because no matter how practical you get in life... time & again, you laugh, you cry, you get angry, you shout & scream... you do all that... as an outburst of emotions... & its an integral part of the human life...

its better to be the emotional one & fight the odds, rather than being the practical one & regretting the decision that changed your life.. your mind always diverts you towards the easy... its your heart that guides you towards the right!!!

live it... love it... life is the last thing you should compromise with! :P

For Some Reason...

I have never been a bright student... unless you consider the non competitive up till 4th standard as a benchmark for brightness... because tab tak, i was good... then, started the decline... everyone around me put up way too many hopes on me.. i will do this.. i will do that... docter banegi ladki... no, i dont wanna be a doctor... theek hai,, engineer ban ja... ummm... doctor bhi nai banegi, engineer bhi nai, toh kya jhaadu pochay waali banegi... WTF... aren't there any other professions apart from these three??? apparently, not! look at what you have done to yourself... you were the brightest in the family... now everyone else is ahead of you...

toh theek hai.. ban gai engineer... & because i was scared of Redos... i cleared 'em all in one go... toh the status was high again... wow... i have never heard of an engineer who has not given a repeat paper... please for Godz sake, i have heard of many... i was not in IIT... but for some reason, i knew i was not the black sheep... i knew i could get a decent package.. a decent job... & i did... Infosys, i believe is decent...

now, i am in Amity... a lotta people ask me why Amity post Infy... & i know why... i know i am not IIM material... even i was... i don't wanna be there... cuz i wanna jez chill... enoy life ya... n then... everyone tells me... you must be stupid to join Amity... n i think in my heart... & i believe in the same... that for some reason.. my decision ain't wrong... & one day... when i will be where i want to be... you will say... for some reason.. i din't believe she was right.... but for some reason... she turned up to be absolutely right!

CUZ i believe... for some reason... that i am RIGHT... :)

Hope Vs. Faith!

today, tomorrow & everyday... u'll come across so many people... some would be your family.... some your frenz... some acquaintances.... some "you recognize their face"... & some sheer strangers...

you see her smiling... you're jealous of her life...you see her smiling... you think her life is good... you wonder how to make your life just like hers... you wish you could smile just like her.... cuz you see her smiling.... but you're unaware of her pain... you sit next to her... & get talking about your life...

you realize that your's is so much better.... but you don't understand the reason why shez smiling... you have a family to support u... you have a life... but you're scared deep inside about the horrors of tomorrow... but you see her smiling... right through her sorrow.... you ask her... how amidst such trouble... can you smile?

she smiles at you... & tells you.... i dont have family support... i have a fucked up life.... but im not giving up... m putting up this fight... i dont believe in superstition.... i dont believe in others.... but i follow logic... & i have faith... in myself... i know for a fact... that even if the world turns its back on me... i still will have my faith... no matter how many times life brings me down... i will resurrect from ashes... if i keep my faith...


she gave you a lesson.... she taught you how... to stand tall when everything around you falls... she said that half the battle is won if you can conquer your brain... & that God will edit your future.... if only you work towards your faith.... she said that faith builds positive energies around you... never has a man got to the top if he believed others.... to get anywhere in life... you gotta have belief in yourself!!!

Love... Trust... & Blaaaah!!!

its a widely known fact... that women emote better than men... & that even though they get insecure pretty fast... they are the ones who trust others the most...

but i know a girl... who just cant seem to trust nobody... she can never take anyones' words... she wants proof for every darn thing under this Sun...

yes... that girl is me... i cant even trust the closest of my family... the people i love the most... the only ones that i have witnessed standing by me when the whole freaking world was laughing at me... yet... i don't trust that they will stand by me the next time... i don't trust that they know what is the best for me... i don't trust that their decision is the right one... they have never hurt me... yet i check their intentions....

i wonder what i will do ahead in my life... if i really cant trust anybody... :(

but i guess... i have been hurt way too many times by multiple people outside of my family... that makes it hard for me to trust just about anybody! :(

Stink-o-mania!!!

We women are so conscious... conscious of just about everything...

what clothes we wear...
what jewelery we adorn...
what heels we walk on...

what looks we give...
what looks we get...
what looks we want...

we put in so much effort...
to look smashing hot...

everything we do...
is so thought off...
everything we show...
is so manipulated!!!

every month we visit the beauty salon...
in for some serious deforestation...
from the eyebrows & upper lip...
to oh... it hurts so bad... bikini wax...

every morning we wake up...

& fix our worn looks...

brush the darn baffled hair...

clean up bright & nice...

& wear our brand new face...

we look at the mirror...

& feel so dead darn good...

we blow ourself a kiss!!!

muaaaah!!!!

we reach our school/college/office...

women eye us with envy...

men drool over us...

but some women wonder why...

no guy comes nearby...

no one asks out for coffee...

leave alone a dinner date...

they just stare from far...

paas kyu nai ata yaar???

dear drop dead good looking woman...

i will tell you why...

because when you put in so much effort...

you forgot the one aspect...

that drives them wild...

your scent!!!

i don't understand...

how some women who put in all the effort...

can be ignorant enough to forget this aspect...

& look so good but stink so bad...

that all i feel for them is... SORRY!!!

I Don't Understand This Rush!!!

Everything we do is done out of the following reasons:

1. It has to be done... whether you like it or not!!!

2. its boring... but it is good for you!!!

3. it gives you a rush!!!

i understand the first one.. you don't have a choice there...

we came to amity... took a specialized MBA in marketing & Sales... now we have to do subjects like Rural Marketing.... which should technically have been an elective... after all how many of us will ever EVER in our lives work up strategies to sell to the rural markets???

i understand the second one as well... you have a choice... & you gotta take the right one...

through the semester... you crib about the subjects... you hate the teachers... you hate the subjects... but you just dont leave any slide unturned... you cant bear the book... so you mug up the whole damn slide... word by word.... vomit it out right up in the paper... after all you will get marks for the same.. right???

but i dont understand the third one... it may or may not be good for you... but it gives you this darn rush...

that's the reason why... we all know drugs are bad... but most go ahead & do the same!!

the very same reason is the reason why many get into a relationship... the rush you get while getting into one!!

its also the reason behind why you check yourself out in the mirror... you look good... it gives you a rush when flashes of what all your looks can bring to you come right up in front of your eyes!!!

im weird enough to get this rush when i can understand a freggin' subject that drives everyone else crazy... makes me feel super intelligent (i guess)!!!

but today i realized that i get the greatest rush from shopping... im a food-a-holic... i want food in every little interval... most of my classmates know me as the girl who eats up her lunch right under the teacherz nose... but today... i was out for so many hours... without food... my feet hurt... but i kept going... it was like this rush i had... to buy... i had to reach the climax by finishing off everything on my list... i was tired & exhausted but it seemed that the rush i was getting outta shopping was so high that taking a break for food seemed unnecessary... i came home & literally lie dead on my bed... but seriously... i just dont understand this rush... it feels so good... even though my body hurts so bad!!! :P :D

Thaz Just Not Fair!

During my childhood, there were two phrases that i came across very often, that baffled me....

1. "Tall Dark & Handsome".... generally the studs.... the hunk... fell into this category... to be marriage material, guys had to be the same!!!! Guys were supposed to be rugged... macho... he was supposed to be the head of the family... the decision maker... the family was supposed to revolve around him... & there was nothing that he could not be involved in... & the women were supposed to be ummmmm.... ummmmmmm.... ummmmm... well, they were supposed to be nothing but fair!!! & that's why the 2nd term that baffled me came into its existence...

2. "The Fairer Sex"... because of the mentioned reason... the fair "factor" went from being a sheer "feature" to the only "quality" that would help one "qualify" as a "beautiful woman!"... i am born to a fair mum & a dark father... as expected, i am dusky... & throughout my school & college life, i tried to battle this fact of life... i tried everything.... from basin... to haldi.. to honey.. to milk... to fair&lovely... to garnier lite... ponds white... to ah... i have lost count!!! I tell you... take it from me women.... NOTHING fregging WORKS & hence, i gave up on them, i think about 2 years ago!

I tried real hard to become fair... because fairness is a super criterion to beauty... i swear... i have seen men digging really dumb & ugly women... just because thy are fair & hence beautiful in their eyes... it took me some time to deal with th fact that i never can be fair... but there are some things that really helped me cope up with the same...

1. The metro sexual... guys who are fair... skin conscious... get waxed... get threaded... & im not even going there... but yea... if they can make an exception to the tall dark & handsome & be proud of it, i can make an exception & spare myself the torture as well!!!!

2. The fair face, the ugly base... women who are fair & hence up in the air... women who think that they can get away with anything they want... who run over people over & over again... i would rather be myself than be one of them!

yet, everyday i turn on the idiot box... & i see multiple ads... endorsed by multiple known & unknown faces... claiming that they can make u upto 2 tones lighter... try for yourself & all that crap!!!! & all that it does to me is PISS ME OFF royally!!!! cuz they are all just bloody liars... none of their claims are true... cuz i have tried it all... but i was, am & will remain... dusky!!!

MBA(M&S)-SEC-E’s INDUSTRIAL VISIT TO SAMTEL COLOR LIMITED

Samtel Color Limited is electronics based company. It core product is the CRT (Cathode Ray Tube). The CRTs it produces are used by multiple leading Television manufacturers such as LG, Samsung etc, almost all except Sony which manufactures its own CRTs. It greatest completion they have is from JCT.

Samtel depicts backwards integration as it also manufactures electron guns as well as deflection tubes that are the key components of the CRT.

On our visit to their plant, we were told that the organization currently has 5 working plants & we were split into 2 groups; each group witnessed the detailed process of making of a 21” CRT. The plant produces about 3000 units each day & is operating at about 80% of its efficiency.

The company believes in keeping abreast with the market. It started in 1973 with black & white CRTs & has now completely stopped its B&W operations & has switched over to color CRTs. When inquired about the future aspect, they said that their next target is the rural market; they seem to see tremendous opportunity there. They sited that the Tamil Nadu government’s promise of giving away a 14” color T.V. with every ration card helped them see this potential, as the demand for their 14” CRT increased tremendously.

They said that they are planning to involve in extensive research at not just the national but the global level with respect to the rural market, as the urban market is seeing a shift in trend towards LCDs & LEDs. They are not ruling out the opportunities at global level, but, “the next 10 years are for the rural market” they said.

To this, the only thought that came to my mind & later formed words was “So after the rural market is saturated & there is a leader in the new technology prevalent in the urban market, what will Samtel do?”, to this they replied “We survived from 1973 till today, I’m sure we will survive later as well”. This wasn’t a satisfactory answer expected from the leaders of Samtel.

P.S.: Sir, these are just my thoughts about the company, I do not represent the entire class. Also, I noticed, all through the presentation, Neeraj Nayyar & Gaurav Bhasin were making apt notes, you may want to consult them for the exact details & their point of view.

The Best Kinna Feeling!!!!

when i was in tiny tots (the junior wing of DPS), i had a crush on the two toppers... if any other girl would talk to them or they would go & sit with someone else... i would burn out!!!! i felt an emotion called jealousy! :X

i grew up a little... participated in various competitions... once, the vicey, Miss. Renu Saxena maam (still Miss... & still looking the same) gave me 5 stars for getting all the spellings right in the surprise spell test she conducted... i felt elated... :)

i grew up some more... my marks went from 90's to 80's to 70's to 60's (late 60's) during my journey from tiny tots to the Xth standard... when the board result was out... i felt sad!!! :(

i still somehow managed to get science with computers in XIth.. so what if it was in the last list that the school declared!!! i decided in my heart that i will do well... i was filled with ambition... \m/

XIth did not live upto my expectation.. but i had the best of teachers in XIIth... & unlike the general trend of falling of grades from Xth to XIIth.. i demonstrated a jump... that too by 10% (late 70's)... i was filled with joy!!! :)

i joined an engineering college... i had heard college is supposed to be fun... but i can actually count the number of friends i had in college... max to max 5 in 4 years of B.Tech... my life was bland... i was disgusted!!! :(

then came infosys... training was grill time... but i made 4 - 5 more friends there... i thought life was beginning to get better... but i was posted to Chennai... how will i manage in Chennai... i felt fear!!! :'(

i quit & came back home... recession had just started so i had trouble getting back into a job... + mum got sick & had to be operated... she was advised 6 months of bed rest... & the 6 months that i stayed home without a job... i felt supreme anger!!! :@

but somehow i managed another job... things seemed to be getting on track... i felt my an emotion called "trust" in God returning!!!

& then i joined Amity Business School... where i made not just 1 or 2 or 3... i made so many friends that i wanna keep for life... now i know why they say "college is fun"... cuz for the first time in my college life... i felt the emotion called fun... i may have felt joy before... but thanks for making me emote via fun!!!


P.S. thank you all for binding with me in the relationship called friendship & being a part of my fun at some point of time or the other!!! :)

love you guys... happy frenz day!!!! muaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

What a Week!!!

There is this famous saying... when your are down.. don't fret... cuz the only way you can go is… up!!! it is an excellent way to console yourself when things went really wrong for you one fine day!!! cuz you can wake up next morning & fix everything... make it prefect... just the way you want!!! But what do you do... when your one day goes bad... you keep your spirits up & face the next day.. n it goes bad too??? well then, you gotta face the sunshine the third day... it has to be right the third time... right???

but... my last week sucked royally... i was kinna hoping for some air now...

July 23rd: To bring an end to a never ending drama... i was rude to that one person who meant the whole world to me once... the one person who i renounced the world for... the one person i fought the whole world for... i was rude to him... so that he can let go & move on... n he said... you have screwed my life... wow... im highly obliged!!!

the weekend: i was in a pretty bad state already… to add on to my problems, the marriage obsessed aunty paid a visit… though im really nice to the uncle aunty generally… but when she picked on the same topic again… & said “geetu, get married… I want to dance” I couldn’t resist but say “if you just want to dance, I can arrange for a dance party for you” & then, began the whole marriage lecture…

The topping: July 26th: my dad reminded me how the greatest decision in my entire life was my worst decision... how i screwed my life & my father's image over the guy who now thinks i screwed his life... great... i left him & he thinks i have screwed his life... & even though i have left him, i have screwed his life & my dad’s image at his ex-office which also happens to be my ex-office!!!

July 27th: I was tired from sleepless nights due to cough & cold, from the past few weeks... & came home early from college to just hit the sack... & was fast asleep by 8:30 pm... but that's not the time to sleep na... obviously there was commotion in the house... but i ultimately was able to sleep peacefully by 9... but my pa came & woke me up at 10:30 & asked me to sleep in the AC room... & freak man, i was so bloody not able to sleep till 4 am then! :X

so.. 5 days of disaster... 1 full bloody week... even a week has 5 tiresome days followed by 2 days of rest & peace... so i expected some good today... but o man... i really must be a magnet to irritation... cuz today... look what i did...

July 28th: class got over at 2:30pm... I, along with sahil, reishabh & chaddha went to the basement, cuz i parked my car there... but freak… the darn car was so bloody missing… I looked here there bloody everywhere… & I almost had a nervous break down… but then I suddenly remembered that I parked it right outside gate 1 cuz there was too much jam when I reached college today! Thankfully, I had a sigh of relief when I saw it standing where I did park it… so I go like *puk puk* (central lock)… haan.. freak.. why dint the central lock work??? Maybe I dint press the damn thing properly.. so I tried again… & again… & again… till I went mad!!! So I just opened the damn thing the traditional way… but it went like *taiaaentaaeeaaeeeee tudutududu tiktiktiktik……….. * (alarm)… started the ignition… didn’t work…. closed the damn thing… didn’t work… nuthn freaking worked… called reishabh & sahil… they tried all kina mechanics…. Dint work… I wanted to scream loud…. But I just took a lift home!

Thankfully things are going fine for papa… so he got the car fixed… I hope I have had my share of crap for one full year… please bhagvaan… ab meri life ko boring bana do for some time… im sick of this everyday drama!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!!!!

Whatz the Hustle About?

Growing up was fun… or so I feel at least… you can laugh at what you want… you can cry about anything… you can eat the way you wish to… slobber all around… feed the table… you can play with dolls… or go “weight 250 pounds *clash*” on the trump card game… life is just so easy… you don’t like that the pig needs to painted gray… Fuck it.. you bloody paint it red maan!!!

Now… you have a cold & you slurp on hot tea.. & people look at you & say “oh my God.. what a gavaar (uneducated filth)!!!” your manager says that he wants not more than 50 odd bugs in the program by the evening & the 51^st invites a spank… no.. not literally.. I meant word spank!!! You get home.. tired & wish to rest a bit… but you need to go to the market & get the clothes from the boutique… your head is hurting.. but you cannot rest cuz u have gotta turn in your report before the clock strikes mid night a.k.a. before the day ends…

They say… once you grow up... you will get independent… independence… I have been craving for it all my life… I wanna stay up late & blog… just cuz I feel that way… I wanna get up by 11 am on weekends… I don’t care what the world thinks… I just wanna sleep up that late… shit man… m 25 & I have been given everything except the liberty to make my own decisions… & then im told… its high time you get married… relatives... family friends… “get married… get married… get married” why the F should I get married… if im still a kid & need someone else to make all my decisions.. how the freggin' hell am i old enough to get married? if im not mature enough to make my own decisions… im definitely not mature enough to get married dammit!!!

One good reason…

All your friends are getting married… so??? look around mapa.. they are getting married with their bfs/gfs… they are not being pushed into an arranged marriage!!!

All your cousin’s got married… so??? Their life.. they think they are settled enough.. I am not all that settled… mentally or financially!!!

Everyone in the colony is getting married… even kids younger to you… so??? Their parents ain’t raising me up… you wanna get me married just because everyone around is???

Log kya kahengay… what will the society say??? Let the society go to hell… I don’t give a damn to the society… I gotta live my life…. The society will blabber & forget… but once im tied into something… I can’t forget!!!

Tujhay kuch kehna hi bekaar hai (its worthless saying anything to you)… then, don’t talk to me… if you wanna talk to me, don’t bring up this topic in our conversations!!!

Goodbye!

I know i seem heartless... cuz i left you standing... i know you were waiting... you had been waiting for hours just to see me... to hear me call your name... to smile at you when i see your face... to hug you and make you feel safe and warm again... i know you travelled for two hours cuz i said i will meet you for an hour... i know you came an hour in advance just to meet me for that one hour... i know you kept waiting those two hours for me to show up... i know you waited even more thinking i just might change my mind and show up... i know you were heart broken and cried the two hours on your way back... i know it all!!!

I know you wanted my support then... i know i was your whole world back then... and my turning my back on you left you distressed... i know you loved me with all your heart and soul... i know you still do and secretly pray that i come back... i know why you update your fb status though you’re not a social person... i even know what frustration made you break your cell phone... i know how you delete full written messages seconds before sending them to me... i know how you sulk on dates that we once called our anniversaries!!! I do too... i guess that’s why i’m writing this one to celebrate the same today! Cheers!!! P.S. I wrote this on 10th April'10... that could have marked 4 years for us!

I remember how you considered me your sweet lil’ angel and held my hand proudly to show off to the world... and i know the devil that i became and ditched your hand when you needed me the most... i guess i knew i would have fallen weak in my knees when i would have seen your face... i guess i was not strong enough to say a goodbye... i guess i still can’t hear you say my name... or hear your voice... cuz in it, i can hear your pain... i guess i never can meet you again to say a proper goodbye... i guess your birthday was the last time i could have ever had met you... i guess our last meeting & the birthday gift i gave you, was not just my birthday gift.. it was my farewell to you!!!

Life teaches us to move on... i have lodzza friends... i moved on fast... now is your turn... i’ve kept an eye and know you’re doing better... and i know you can be good... but before i leave forever, i just wanted to remind you... there are many a lessons that life teaches you... one is to trust in yourself... two is to be good... three is to be true to yourself... four is to be true to people who love you... five is to keep commitments that you make... six is to bid farewell if it does not work out... ... ... ... ...

P.S. i’m not the centre of life... your life can go on without me... just give it a try! Be good! J

Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhhh... Don't Irritate!

Okhay.. so you know me… and if you do, then you know I have this peculiar habit of irritating people… especially in ways they are just not up for and even more at times that they just can’t bear… I’ve tried really hard to get rid of this habit… but when conditions appear… its like this itch that you just got to scratch! :P

I don’t really remember who, but I do remember for a fact, that once when I was really bugging some friend of mine, he told me “your name should be Geeta Irritating Ravi”… I thought it was a darn smart reply so I said “wow… you say really smart things when irritated” and we both burst out laughing!!!

That is the best thing about irritating someone… if the person you are irritating really needs a break… irritating them can really refresh you guys! :P

But it is really not all my fault… actually it runs in my genes… This other time… I was reading a novel (even though im not the novel kind… so I really hapta put my self to it)… so I was trying really hard to not deviate my mind… and then came my sister… she looked at me… and went into a shocker… yea… thaz how rarely I read… she said in awe “di… tu novel padh ri hai!(di, u’re reading a novel!)” I said “yea” and got back to it… but she stared on and repeated the same at least 5 times… I got bugged and started screaming shut up… realizing that im getting irritated.. she irritated me even more… I said… now.. im really gonna slap you Vinita… but she said it one more time… so I said “STOP irritating me… im already very IRRITATING!!!”

Oops… realizing that I said irritating instead of irritated.. we burst into laughter… so you see… irritating someone is not really all that bad… as long as its making you laugh! :P

The Rain!

She looked at her watch… its quarter past 7… she said “its high time, I think you’d better drop me… I don’t wanna take a risk as I think it just might rain!”

He looked at her… made his sad face and said “I hate it when you have to go!” She smiled and said “you know baby.. I’ve really gotta go!”

They got onto the motorcycle and just as they had covered barely a 100 meters… it turned stormy… the dirt clinging on to their skin… they drove slow so he could see properly… and when they had covered about 500 meters… it came down… the drizzle… he speeded up as they could not afford to wait n loose time!

The droplets turned from small to big to “1 in 5 seconds” to “5 in 1 second” to “lost the count in a second”… their first rain… and o the timing… to enjoy or not to enjoy was the question… it got colder and they were both shivering… she hugged him tight… kissed him on the shoulder… and said “you know… I really love you… n I really wanted to enjoy our first rain before we get married!”

He said “me too… me too… but do you know why???” “why?” “cuz I wanted to feel just about how I am feeling right now!” “and how do you feel?” “I feel so married to you!” “I guess, that’s because we are married baby!” “stupid… I wanted to feel this way before dumbo!” “why?” “cuz I guess I knew it right from the start… you belong here in my heart!”

If Love Was Enough…

If love was enough to make a living… no love marriage would end up in a divorce… if love was enough to be together… long distances would have always worked out… if love was enough to stand by forever… there would have been no cheating lovers…. If love was enough… people would not pin hopes on time… if love was enough… lovers would ensure they stick to each even without a dime!!!

But apparently love ain’t enough… lovers end up getting a divorce… long distance generally fades the relationships… lovers cheat… they pin hopes on time and say one day you “maybe” mine… they even end up leaving each other before getting together because of scarcity of dimes!

They say that I can leave you if I think that’s for your own good, but I will love you till the end… but what’s the point.. if you weren’t good enough… why did you start out in the first place… and what makes you think that your leaving them is for their own good… maybe they would sulk their life over you… maybe they would loose faith all together… your lovin’ ain’t good enough if you can’t stick by!!!

They said that this aint workin out anymore… did you forget that it wasn’t supposed to be easy ever… it was supposed to be worked out… that’s why it is called love…

They grow up and say that it was a mistake… isn’t it insulting love if you think your love was a mistake? And if it was a mistake then why do you silently weep at nights when you remember the good old times with your mistake? why do you secretly wish that you could rewind and correct the mistakes??

Why do you do all of that even though you feel love ain’t enough for a living??? I guess its because you’ve never really loved in the 1^st place!

Misunderstood!!!

When a guy hits puberty and women who once seemed as irritating untouchable creatures become his object of affection… he cant help but talk to their boobs and stare at their asses when they pass by… it’s the guy thing… you and I can’t help it!!!

When he grows up, he goes ahead and asks one out… tells her that she is the most beautiful thing ever and that he truly loves her… she loves him too but still gives him time and ample opportunity to back off before she says a yes… yet, guys you know… stubborn asses… he has gotta have her!!!

Then, they are together… and they love each other… even if the world falls apart, they are gonna stick through thin… thinner... thinnest! He has to see her everyday and has to talk to her till 5 am when both have gotta wake up at 8 am next morning… but big deal… they are so in love!!!

Next 2 months: there are many men who hit on her, but she ignores them… there are many women who hit on him, but he doesn’t have time for them… he loves his baby girl and he wants her and her only… he even changed his dressing sense for her… gave her his account ids and passwords… even took her out on a date when running on high fever!

Next 2 months: Men still want her… but she loves him and ignores them… women still want him… but he still loves her but how can he ignore women when they are talking to him.. he can’t just shoo them away… its being rude!

This is their story: “you don’t love me anymore na???” “are you crazy? I love you and only you!!!” “then why do you flirt with *****???” “I don’t flirt with her baby… she texted me so I texted back” “what did she text you?” “we were just talking generally” “at 2 am??” “toh kya ho gaya?” “women only talk to men they are interested in at 2 am! :X” “we’re just friends baby… I only love you!” “yes, I don’t doubt that, but why are you entertaining her at 2 am… I can tell you she likes you… why does she keep up nights just to talk to you… and you respond late to my messages so you can message her… when you talk to me… I want your whole attention” “baby, you have my whole attention, I am just casually texting her!” “I don’t appreciate it!” “you’re mad!” “you can either have me as your gf or flirt with her!” “I don’t flirt with her!” “then don’t talk to her post 11 pm!” “ok… I wont talk to her atall” “im not saying that, just don’t give her importance over me” “gunite… I love you!” “guniee.. I love you too! J”

Next week: “what you doing baby?” “im talking to *****” “what you talking about?” “she asked me if I have noticed a change in her?” “wtf.. what did you say?” “I said blah blah blah….” “baby… she likes you.. why do you hapta talk to her?” “no she doesn’t.. we are just friends, you asked me not to talk to her in the night, so im talking in the day time!” “only women who are interested in you ask you if you have noticed a change in them! :X” “na baby, we are friends… its casual talk!” “well, then you continue your casual talk with her… cuz im gone!” “you’re paranoid.. you should get yourself checked!” “yes, I am… bye!”

Guy thinks to himself… “what the fuck does she want? I love her!”

Girl thinks to herself… “I fuckin love him so much… I ignore everyone else…. He loves me, n I know that… but why does he have to give importance to other women, especially if they like him… I know she likes him… why cant he just accept the fact… :X he will never understand how I feel… he will never know how much it hurts me!”

They don’t talk anymore… he remembers her time and again… she remembers him everyday and cries… he thinks to himself, “she is not understanding!” she thinks to herself, “he will never understand!”

3 years pass by… ***** and the guy are chatting over the internet… she tells him, “you know I used to really like you about 3 years ago… but you were with her… but I really wanted to be with you, but I didn’t want to be the reason why you guys break up… but you guys did, but I never found the courage to ask you out!”

The guy breaks down into tears and realises that all this time, my baby was right…. ***** did like me.. I was a fool to not have gotten the signals… my talking to ***** suffocated my girl and I was the sole reason behind our breakup! I told her that she was mad and needs to get a check up done, when it was actually I who was blind and couldn’t see her cry and die!

I mish you!!! :(

Sometimes i miss you so much.. it gets hard to breathe... my head feels like a volcano ready to erupt when i dont get to see you...

i remember every little thing you did.. i remember the way you care... i wish somehow you could manage to be right here...

because you're not here with me... i can feel a void even when im happy... even though you're not here with me... i can feel your warmth even im sad...

i cry many a times when i want you but you aren't around... i cry even more because i know you can console me right now...

i wish you never needed to leave... i wish id never have an opportunity to miss u... but i know it just cannot be.. and i have no option but to miss you! :'(

Odds?? Chances??

Im standing here… looking at you… I like the way you dodge the other way when I look your way… you dodge once… you dodge twice… you dodge even the third time… I decide.. okhay maybe he is just not interested…. Just looking over n over for no reason… I don’t look your way for quite some time… but there is this voice inside my head that tells me… he is still looking… so I hear my voice out and glance your way again… you don’t dodge this time.. you just hold my stare… you bore right through my eyes from across the floor… I can tell by the way you look at me that you want me… you look so smart and sexy.. and to top it all, you give me the mysterious look… I feel your aura and I feel a sudden rush.. and an urge that I don’t have a control on.. an urge that makes me wanna run across the floor and jump onto you and you know what… I don’t know what this urgency is that I feel towards you… maybe… im in like with you.. but not in love with you!!!

I wanna make the move but my head says “stop”… I see you staring at me… head to toe… and then back again.. I feel a chill run down my spine… O no… my self control… it wont hold up.. for very long… Freak maan… you better come upto me or stop staring… I gotta do something to take my head off you… “Allure him”… says my head… “but isen’t he way too off my league???”.. o no.. my head is in a fight with itself… “dude… you always thought all your men were out of your league… for some reason you’ve always laid your hands on the hottest!”… “but I have never approached anyone before”… “you are not to approach him either… you’re going to make him approach you!”… “how???”… “do what you always do!!!” Maybe this is love.. but I haven’t fallen in quite yet!

So… I step onto the floor… maintain eye contact with you… while dancing with my frenz…. You’re still looking at me… watching each step… my heart’s beginning to slightly overrule my head… o no… I can’t help myself from falling too fast for you!!! As we are involved in the “staring” tug of war… your friends start to get nosy….  Trouble you… but you still maintain that look.. OMG… that look is your charm… it makes me want you even more!!! Just when I decide to make my move…. A thought creeps into my mind… “Who knows if I am ready or not”... “only time will tell”… but suddenly all this time that I was thinking… I didn’t realise that you walked right upto me… you dint say a thing… just took my hand in yours and started dancing sweet and slow… you bend and whisper into my ear in the huskiest voice ever possible “who knows if we are… ready to make this something… but I’d like to take my chances!” 

Help... Internship... Questionnaire!!!

im the kina person who gets bored too easily... n i hate to stay at home.. literally hate it... i mean.. yea u can hear me crib that lifez too hectic... too much work load... no time to sleep... blah blah... but if all of this is taken away... im like sheaaat maan.. what to do next??? friends not around.. ma always around.. get up early... help me with the chores... ahahh.. not my forte haan!! don't stare at the T.V./lappy for too long.... will spoil your eyes even worse... ma... i dont read books... u dont like my kina music... they are my only options... aaaargh.. i hate holidays... i mean, weekends are fine... but 10 days off in a row can kill me!!! :X


Hence, to put an end to my "boriat", i joined my internship early... almost a week in advance... from th 26th itself... apparently, there is a notice on amizone (amity's intranet) that we need to submit a day to day report on what we have done... n what have i done in the past few days???

Day 1: April 26: I anxiously waited n wasted the whole day to figure out what my project was... i was made to sit at a workstation that had no system... so i heard music the whole day (thanks to music express.. i love Nokia) and completed half of the only game on my cell phone... "Bounce was half way through to catch the evil Hypnotoid!"... i had a 10 mins meeting that made me aware that my 1st project at IDEA is to figure out the needs of the youth so that they can tailor-make a product for the youth!


Day 2: April 27:"Bounce caught the evil Hypnotiod".. shit man, i still had a couple of hours before the managers look at my questionnaire!!! :( so i looked around... saw a calendar... drew out the same... ohkay.. im not all that good at sketching anymore... but this is pretty close eh??? then, i had a 5 min discussion with my manager and he suggested a couple of changes... ah.. 2 days for a questionnaire!!! aaargh!!!


Day 3: April 28: i mailed the questionnaire and called up my manager to fix up an appointment so that we can discuss it... but he just wont answer the calls... called me post lunch n said, "why don't you come in tomorrow morning n we can discuss the same!" i though... cool with me... he will go through it in advance and we can discuss the damn thing first thing in the morning the next day!


Day 4: April 29: I reached the office early morning, 9am... he said ill go through it in another 10 mins.. o sheat... my manager keeps very busy... that meant... i dunno how much time actually... but surprise.. he came to me within half hour n said... im cool with it.. i have forwarded it to my manager n if she likes it, just take print outs n start off... i was like coolio... but his manager was like super duper busy the whole day... thankfully, i carried my lappy today... n played a hell lotta scrabble, watched the bourne series again... n then had a 10 mins meet with the super manager who asked me to take print outs n start off...


To be Day 5: April 30: i am supposed to start my field work... 300 respondents till wens'day... thankfully, my fieldwork can be done online.. so please have some mercy on me... if you believe you constitute the youth, take out 5 minutes from your time and fill up: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=AOJHzooRDHtw_2btSysfESIw_3d_3d


i will return you the favor when you do your survey! Please be genuine! :)
thanks in advance!!! :)

My lucky charms!!!

you know you're superstitious when you don't cross from under a leaning ladder...

or you dont cross the road if a black cat passes by...

or if 13th falls on a friday...

or if you look into a broken glass...

or warm hand, cold heart n vice versa...

you even get horrified if your horoscope reads wrong...

i dont really believe in all these superstitions... but i got a couple of my lucky charms...

during exams... no matter how busy my bffs are... i ensure they wish me before my exam... i guess everyone does that... but i keep those txts... or cards.. or whatever it is that they give... i save them at least untill the results are declared...

i always wear a new dress when i have a tough exam...

i try n look my best during the exams... i have the look good feel good factor that helps me through everything...

i always wear orange when i have something important to do.... ( no orange is not my favorite color)

i do not leave home without doing my sudoku right... i would rather reach late than leave sudoku... (i believe if i get the sudoku right the first time, everything that day goes well, sudoku screwed... something that day will be screwed!!)