New Year Resolutions @ GEET @ 2010

This is not for the general public.. this is for me to remember... writing it down here cuz i believe this is a better place than a piece of paper! :P

I Hereby Resolve to Break Most Of the Following: (i have added clauses to most of them, the clause helps me not break the rules)

1. DO NOT FIGHT WITH YOUR FOLKS; unless they are being unreasonable!

2. BE NICE TO PEOPLE; but remember, you don't have to be nice to everyone!

3. LOOSE WEIGHT! Target 8.5 kilos to be lost by the end of the year!
               EXERCISE! At least 4 times in a week!
               EAT LESS, WAAAAAAAAAAAK MORE!

4. GET A BOYFRIEND... you need someone to vent your frustration on! lol!

5. IMPROVE YOUR DRESSING SENSE... i mean you can at least co-ordinate your clothes... right?

6.START READING
              The Newspaper: TOI n ET!
              Novels: any... just to get a head start into reading!

7. TAKE CARE OF YOUR SKIN
              Drink lozza water.
              Eat right... sleep right... think right (anyways, stress is NOT good)!

8. LOOK NICE... it will help you deceive yourself in times of misery!

9. SMILE.. you have an amazing smile... you just might have a boi fall for it! :P

10. LAUGH: sometimes, when you laugh real hard.. your stomach gets a work out.. so laugh out your fat!

11. HELP MA... she knows how to get pa's permission for things you can't get permission for yourself!

12. STOP BEING DISGUSTING, IRRITATING & a PERVERT... be susheel!

13. CONTINUE YOUR BLOG... some people love it.. some like it... some dislike... some detest it.. most do not care... but you.. you love it... so keep up the work!

Kaka’s Kachi Mishri!

Yesterday was my cousin’s, Kaka (Girish Kumar’s) kachi misri… what’s kachi mishri? Most people here in India, call it roka… apparently, it means now we have decided that these two will get married and we are not gonna see any other boy/girl!

It was a small family affair, but I had one heck of time… I was the unpaid videographer and photographer… and almost everyone in the family was the waiter and the server! Not to mention, kaka himself did do some amount of work… I liked the opportunity of wrapping up the dhulhan’s stuff into a cute little basket just as much.. I really enjoy the chel-pehal in the family that generally drives the wedding families crazy!

While making of the video “Kaka’s kachi mishri”, I realized that there are things (cute little things) that the elderly remember about you, which you can only know just because they told you the same… that’s when I overheard my pa’s story… he said, when I heard about kaka getting married, this is the first thing that I remembered!

After hearing the whole story again (because I have heard it before as well), I realized, my family has very fond memories of Kaka… some of them date back to when I was just born… he is 2 years elder to me… and apparently, he and his family came over to see the just born (that’s me, we are talking about)… he came and went into the other room where I was sleeping… he insisted that he would not wake me up.. so he elderly sat and chit chatted in the other room…

it had been some while since he was in the room that I was sleeping.. and the best part is, he actually did not wake me up.. but suspicion arose because Kaka was/is known to be pretty naughty.. so everyone comes into my room and guess what do they see… kaka with all the shampoo, hair oil, body oil and body lotions.. all on the floor… with a piece of cloth… looking up and shining so bright at mine n his folks… “Kaka, tu yeh kya kar raha hai?” (kaka, what are you doing?) “Chapaee kar raha hu bua, Chapaee!” (im cleaning up the place aunty!(kaka had a slurr, so he called safaee as chapaee))

I Love Shopping With Pa!!!

I’m always a little out on patience.. so is my dad.. and my sister.. and my mother too… but when it comes to shopping.. for some reason, my mother has all the patience in the world… then comes me.. then my sister.. and my father is pretty impatient in this domain as well!!!

So, when I need to go shopping and I need an opinion.. I take my ma along.. she can take the pains of visiting scores and scores of shops.. now also, she loves to go shopping with me.. its just that she believes old age is taking its turn... the problem in going shopping with mom is.. the stuff has to deserve all the money that is being put into it… it does not matter how much I like the product.. if it is worth 500 and not available anywhere else, hence priced at 1500.. I can’t buy it with ma! L

That’s when I like to bring my pa into the picture.. he will not go to more than 3 shops no matter what… so, if I need to go shopping with pa, I need to do my homework right… I need to survey the market a day in advance and know for sure what I want… then I take my pa into a shop that I know I don’t like anything in… try and while some time away.. then take him to another one that I’m not interested in.. get him frustrated enough for him to say… “buy something from the next shop or we are heading home!”… and that’s when I strike.. and take him to the store where I know what I want, no matter how high priced… bingo! Job done well!!!

Christmas@2009

Yesterday, I met with a friend of mine… we had some good time… we ate.. which is our favorite activity.. we chit chatted… we had lozza fun! :P but of all the fun that we had… this one is my favorite bit!

But before I let you know about the fun part, you should be aware of the background… it is important… gum.. chewing gum has many uses… people use it for freshness of breath… some use if for getting that perfect ‘jaw line’… I eat it when I wanna have something to eat but don’t really have money/time to spend.

So, yesterday, I was to meet my friend, Gurbinder, then, I was a little hungry, but pressed for time.. so I turned to the chewing gum… we met… had fun.. but after a while.. while we were crossing the road.. my jaw started hurting from all the chewing.. so I had this urge to spit my gum!!!

The problem is… I hate the fact that people spit the gum onto the road or stick it beneath a table… I mean… that would just sicken the person whose shoe it sticks to.. or the person whoes thigh feels the stick!!! *ewwww… but then I also believe in.. whatever you do… do it differently!!!

So, I took permission from my dear friend.. I did this to ensure, he does not go into a state of shock or embarrassment… “Gurbider… may I stick my gum on to the next vehicle that passes by us?” he gave me the look that said “as if you have the guts” but chuckled and said “ya ya!” so.. this nice aunty zooms past us in a red santro… and dhupp… her tanker gets a taste of my gum! And Gurbinder just looks on with the look that reads “I can’t believe you actually did that!!!” and I have the sense of accomplishment of a new khurapaat (naughty deed) I just did! :P

The Mind Box!

The human brain is an amazing thing… it works in its own weird ways… its always busy entangling and detangling… it forms mazes of its own… a little move here… and a little move there… its seems to come to a conclusion… just like the Rubik’s cube shown in the figure… it seems you are coming to a solution… but then you realize.. you have only got one side right… what about the other 5 sides??? The only thing you know is that the centre piece never moves… so the centre piece is the color of the side!!!

The problem is huge… you need everything to fall into its place… but sadly, you have only solved one side of the multi-side puzzle… but for some reason you are ecstatic… you love the fact that you at least made one side of the cube… (I love red, so I generally make that one first)… then, you start off with side two… (I generally make any side which is mostly made and is adjacent in nature, else my second fav is green)!!!

You get line one… you get line two… but for some reason, you cannot place two pieces of the line three… (I mean, I never am able to)… so you switch to another side… you solve some part of it… then suddenly you realize, if you work your way over the completely made side (red side)… you can fit in these pieces.. so you do the same.. a little twist here.. a little movement there… and there you are.. you land up with the same complex life… the way it looks best.. with all the colors on each side! :P

Chucked Outta Class!

yeah.. m known to be notorious... that's the word that goes on amongst my teachers... thatz because i'm generally in the most notorious section... and i'm generally caught either chit-chatting or eating away to glory! my PL (Program Leader) Proff. Ashok Sharma, once saw the snap i have on all my amity docs... and he asked, yeah kiski foto laga rahki hai??? he he!!! (who's snap is that??? he he)... i said "sir meri hai" (its mine!).. he said "kitni shareef lag rahi hai" (you look so decent!)... SIR!!! he he!!

but in spite of all of this... i had never been chucked out of class... i have been made to stand in class... been made to give presentations... figure out where the teacher left from.. even been scolded... but today was heights... it was heights of insecurity.. how can a teacher be so insecure... i mean... he knows that the only reason students attend his class is for attendance... so he chucked us out of the class...

what was i doing??? i was sitting next to laddo... when i suddenly realised that i have a sticker near my foot... i picked it up and said "sahil, m gonna wax your hand".. i stuck the sticker on to his hand, and before i could pull it off.. the teacher chucked us both out of the class... :( 2 attendance gone! :( saala.. interestingly padha toh sakta nai hai... attendance k balbootay pe dhamkaata hai! (Bloody looser... can't teach interestingly... rebukes people on the basis of attendance)

My Neighbourhood Soap Opera!

Oh my God... i always wondered how the hell can people indulge themselves in soap opera... i mean how can you watch all the saas' plotting... all the bahu's mulling and people getting married over and over... mostly with the same person.. i mean.. if there were some spice.. i'd understand... but this has always been way beyond my understanding...

then, my sister got fond of a serial called "Utran".. apparently she likes the Sidhu guy who is the hero of the serial.. i got hooked to it too... that's probably one soap i look upto... yes.. me n my sister share crushes... i had a crush on rob pattinson.. she followed... she had a crush on sidhu.. i followed... but the story really sucks...

but yesterday, i witnessed a live soap... my next door neighbours have rented out to a family of 3... the couple seems pretty young and has a little kid... this is how it went:

Pati (husband): *chateksh! (slap)

Patni (wife): Kuttay, tunay meray bachay ko kaisay maara?? (how did you hit my kid)

Pati: Saali, beech mei na bol, tu bhi maar khaegi! (Don't interrupt, else i'd beat you up too)

Patni: haan, tera kaam hi kya hai??? jab dekho chillata n maarta rehta hai! (yeah, what else have you got to do??? you only hit n shout)

woh (kid): uuuaaaaeeee...uuuuaaaeeee....uuuuaaaeee (crying)

pati: saali... chup kar ja... nai toh c*** dunga! (bitch, shut up... else i'll f*** you)

patni: haan.. yahi kar sakhta ho tum... bhen ki l***... tumhaari hawas ki aag kabhi bhujti nai hai!!! (yeah... (i don't know the conversion of the abuse) that is all you can do... your s**ual fire never ceases!!!

this is when i burst out laughing... i could not concentrate on what i was doing or another word that they said... i totally lost it.. kept laughing until my cheeks hurt... my ma n my sister who were listening to the same with full enthusiasm were shocked at my reaction... but then, what else do you expect me to do??? be a silent spectator! :P

Obssessed With Red!

my sister keeps asking me, why do you always wear the red stole with all your clothes... it just doesn't go... well, i do "do that" all the time.. today, i wore a blue pullover, a black pant n the red stole... lol... for me, red is like a universal colour.. like my own variety of "black"!

to the right is a pic wherein you can see that reishabh n anish are beating me up.. why... cuz they wanted my red stole n i just wasn't ready to part with it! :P

its been ages now.. but i just can't seem to get over red... i think it started about 7 years ago.. my obsessions for red.. my wardrobe was literally red... my sister was obsessed with black then.. all her clothes were black n all mine were red.. i even had red bags and red shoes...a red belt too... i still have a red bag n a red belt... i have pink shoes now! :D

then came the movie "jab we met" and then, started my obsession of the "red nail paint"... i would wear the red nail paint through out... day in n day out... this red nail paint obsession went on till September 2009... why did it end??? no... it did not end.. my skin specialist asked me to cut my nails so i just don't paint them anymore!!!

but, today. we had a combined class with another section "section d".. n i noticed that im probably not the only one in the "red race", cuz i noticed three ladies, Prateek, Noopur n Kanika wearing the nail colour that i totally love... i was filled with joy n energy.. like i probably had my dose of "red bull".. lol!!! :P

I Don't Need Your Attitude!

ok, so just because somebody is nice to you... you can crush them right.. whenever you want... wherever you want.. especially if time favours you.. right??? i mean.. really right??? we have all done this to some one at some point of time or the other... we have also suffered the same at some point of time or the other!!!

but, there is this saying "Learn from your mistakes!"... i am not the kind who learns from my mistakes right away.. i always take the liberty of making the same mistake twice... For eg: i quit HP during the beginning of recession... n then i quit Infy at the peak of recession... i follow the same funda in all aspects of my life... go ahead n make a mistake twice... but the third time... o oh... not happening!!!

if you do wrong to me... i will not declare a fight... i will stay low n watch what you do next... you're not nice to me once.. i will go ahead n avoid you.. but if we have to talk for some reason, i still will be nice to you... but if you do it again... i mean if you do wrong to me for the 2nd time or are rude for the 2nd time... then, i have an elephant sized ego.. this my dear fren will lead to an open declaration of war... at least from my end... then i am not going to leave one reason to hurt you.. show you down... n literally crush you darling!!! cuz i can only take attitude from you twice.. then, i don't need your attitude... cuz i seriously have got plenty of mine... that will hit you at all the wrong places at the right time!

Ooooo... Laddu!

i am an extremely jolly person... but, the problem with me is... if you are my fren, you can joke around with me... if you're my very good fren, you can crack non-veg jokes too... and if you're an excellent fren... you can joke about me n i certainly would not mind.. but in case i do tell you (even while laughing) that i did not appreciate this, i mean "I DID NOT APPRECIATE THIS!" why are we talking about me if im writing about laddu??? because background information is extremely essential!

on my very first interaction with laddu (his name is Lihas spelled right to left), i literally hated him because of the above mentioned reason.. but exactly why? because we 1st interacted in a class where we did a role play together, where in he asked me if i like the vodafone ads, i said i like the zuzu ads n i think zuzi is extremely cute!!! n pat came a comment "so, you like women better!" i sooooooooooooooooooo hated him! i did not talk to him.. look at him.. n avoided him as much as could!

its been 6 months now since i've known him... n now we gel along pretty well... how??? there is one and only one reason.. our love for food... he loves food n so do i... my appetite has almost tripled since we met... n m fast moving toward the chennai weight again...im gonna be in deep trouble if i put on 12 kgs again! n what did he hapta do to make things fine.. he ate my mother's cooked lemon rice n said "u're mom cooks amazing food!" yep, that was enough to break the one-sided cold war!

today, we were attending a guest forum n the guest was after his life... why? because he addressed a seni as "that guy".. they literally f***ed each other up... in the end, the guest had him stand up and asked us all if we all think he has an attitude problem, and not one hand up... for some reason i was glad that noone raised their hand... that's when i realised, that laddu darling, "i consider you an amazing fren!"

to the left is laddu wearing chadda ji's muffler and sleeping away to glory sitting in the class and that too on the very 1st bench... lol.. i totally love b-school (back to school)... its amazing to have frenz who really are frenz n not back-stabbers! :P

Devil or an Angel???

today i changed the look n feel of my blog...

why???

i was bored (really bored) of the old look... i changed from the sober orange n white to the devil's colors (red n black)... why?? cuz i love being the devil!!! :P

but, there is another reason behind the same.. recently, a friend of mine introduced me to google's naya aavishkar (google's newest innovation), it goes by the name blackle... if you'd hit www.blackle.com, it would tell you the number of watt hours saved.. right now it says 1,603,494.060 watt hours saved!

wow.. basically the point is, black needs lesser energy.. so, i turned to black... then i needed a contrast colour to write with... so i chose red... hence... even though my blog does dress up as the devil... i still am a sweet little angel who is working towards conservation of energy! 

Another Crush Down the Drain!

i have crushes.. you have crushes.. we all have crushes.. its a pretty normal phenomenon... so what do most people do when they have a crush?

• if they are an introvert, they just keep a distance.. look at them n stay happy... they call the crushes eye candy... if you know me.. you know by now, that i'm certainly not an introvert (anymore).
• if they are an extrovert, they go upto the crush and talk to them!!!

even though, i am an extrovert, i don't really do what the latter do.. why? well, there are a couple of reasons...

• i tend to get bored of stuff really soon... including crushes!
• i don't crush that often any more... so, i wish to stretch 'em as long as possible!
• if i get to know my crush, my crush almost always gets crushed every time... i don't know how i managed my relationship for all that long!
• i generally crush on guys who are mysterious (if they are cute, it will just be an added advantage)... so letting the crush stay mysterious is important!

so, after a really long time, i ultimately found a guy that i could crush on... i did not know him much... but my stomach would flutter every time i'd see him... especially as i could not see him all that much...  i would get out of my class each time everyday (in the 5 min break) to check him out even if it is for 5 mins (yep, he comes out in his break too... he along with all his frenz)... my crushes don't last more than a couple of weeks... but this one was lingering on from quite some time... almost 4 months now!!!

how did this happen??? it was because all i knew about him is that he had a good sense of dressing, silky soft hair n an extremely cute smile! ;)

so what happened now??? i got to know more about him.. lol... so the mysterious factor is gone.. no no... we don't talk... but one of my fren who has a common fren told me about him... she din't tell me much though... but she told me that he is taken! there goes another crush down the drain.. alas... what do i have to look forward to in college now??? :(

P.S. i did not mention the name on purpose.. don't ask... n if u knw.. don't tell!

We Don’t Need no Education!

Pink Floyd sang it… and we literally worship it… I see it happening… all around me.. all the time… I sit at the 3^rd or the 4^th bench… cuz I don’t like to sit right under the nose of our teachers nor do I like to be a backbencher who is made to stand in every class to answer questions… I tread the safe road… aagay se shuru ho ya peechay se.. ya 1 aagay se and then 1 peechay.. I get sufficient time to make up my side of the story! :P

Anyways, daily, I see a teacher standing at the dice.. trying to teach… daily, I make notes… because if I don’t, my head would smash against the desk.. and I’d be sleeping away to glory! To the left is a snap of how we all study… no we are not tired… that how interesting our classes are! :P to the right is what we do when we are drained off all our energies… im generally caught doing the latter… I make notes to avoid doing the former!!! After all… the person in front is a teacher… kuch toh respect karni chahiye! :P

So this is a b-school… but I feel my school was relatively lenient… we do classes because it has internal marks attached to it.. lesser than 75 means getting debarred! And just about what do we do when we do classes? I look around… I see people watching movies… some texting.. some gossiping… some laughing at their own lame jokes.. some fighting... some xeroxing another’s assignment… most sleeping… I’m generally eating… mostly in the period right before the lunch break (Tavishi even caught me once and embarrassed me in front of the class), but old habits die hard.. its my daily routine! And then while the teacher is taking about the distribution n logistics, somewhere at the back of mind… all is hear is… we don’t need no education… tada tada tada tada!!! :P

O Yeas… The Glass is Always Half Full!

We have been hearing since time immemorial… all it takes for the world to change is to change your perspective… if there is a glass filled half, consider it half full instead of half empty… so what is there in the other half??? GAS!!! I mean literally!

In CP, there is a restaurant called Piccadelhi… apparently piccadelhi is known for its ambience and food.. some know it for its high price… I shall remember it for an all together different reason… the reason being… I know it is a true believer of the saying “The glass is half full!”

And I mean it literally (I make use of the word literally too much eh??)… to the left is a snap of its glass… rather glasses… no matter, how much you drink out of it.. apparently, you just can’t reach to the bottom of it… you still pay for up till the bottom though… hence proved… glass is half full… you did not make full use of it.. piccadelhi mints money off your ignorance! :D

Metro Maniacs!

now that noida has a metro.. it is so much easier to commute... noida to saddi dilli takes just about half hour! today was my second ride in the metro... n must i say... ooo.. i loved it... firstly, i was to meet Jam, one of my closest frenz... secondly, i hate to travel via bus.. metro is so much more convenient!

so, i did meet Jam, we had a gala time... ate... drank... tried to shop... our efforts went futile... went to a store that had ben & jerry iceys... the uncle and his son were so nice to talk to that even though we did not find what we wanted, yet we bought from their store... just because they were so sweet! *awwww!

we went n sat in the park, even clicked pictures together... some started at us because they doubted our straightness... that the problem with being frenz with women... people don't tend to see straight anymore! lol! then we called it a day and decided to go our homes... i turned to my metro and she to her auto...

so, m in the metro... there is a really stinky woman standing next to me.. i move a little... she sees space and moves even closer.. and then i go YUCK... and change my boogie.. now im standing next to 5 people, 4 chinkis (3 boys 1 girl) and 1 hindustani boy! throughout from rajiv chowk till noida sector 15, the hindustani boi and one chinki keep talking within themselves and keep looking at me and smiling as hard as they can... i don't react.. cuz, i frankly din't know how to react... so here comes sec 15... "doors will open to the left"... doors open... 4 of them down, 1 chinki stays behind... then she announces "stand clear of the doors".. the chinki leans towards me n says "u're cute!" kisses me on my cheek and rushes out of the metro!

WTF... so now i know why you were looking at me all that time and smiling so hard... you got a dare.. right?? i wanted to shout this... but i was too shocked to even open my mouth for words to come out... everyone stared at me... and i was in a state of shock... with zero reaction... so much so that people gave me the stare which said "so, you were with that guy??? we din't know!" its so ridiculous what happened... but thankfully the chinki was cute, else i would have been utterly disgusted!

Miss Me!

i say this much too often.. mostly when im good friends with people... others tend to say, take care... i tend to say miss me... i think i started saying that because i had very few friends and i really wanted that no matter what, i will not let go of them... slowly, it became my habit!

some thought this is my way of flirting... no.. i know better ways...

some thought she thinks so high of herself... no... i am pretty grounded...

some pretty much did not give any heed... it really doesn't matter any more... i tell you... cuz i have realised... friends are if they understand you and consider you a friend... if they can slap you when you go wrong... if they can lift up your spirits no matter how low low low low you are!!! being friends does not really mean hanging out together all the time... being friends does not necessary mean no right to bitch about friends... it means tu kameena hai.. tu kutta hai.. tu saala chu bhi hai... fir bhi tu mera dost hai... english transcript (you're an ass of the order one, but still you have the privilege to be my friend) :P

friends are people who will miss you even when they are not drunk... friends are people who miss you even more just after they met you... friends are people who will say "get lost" when you say "miss me"... but friends are people who will still hear from you "miss me!"

Sick of Being Miserable?

Why is that the best things in life are always short lived? why is that the best things in life are just facades? why is that the best things in life are actually the ones that cause the maximum misery? why is it that the best things in life make you so damn dependant???

Let's take a short lived love affair for example.. What happens when its done? We do a trillion things in a day... we watch TV... we talk to frenz... we get so much over fb that most of our frenz complain that we cramp up most of their wall space... some even hide us... they tell us indirectly... but we dont stop... because, we need to vent out... we go mad... literally... so we ensure that we have the least time to ourselves... cuz when we have a time... we think of them... and they make you miserable!

you did chuck them outta your life... and anyone in sane mind would do the same... but you still feel guilty... you feel as if someone set the back of your throat on fire... you wish that you was literally set afire! you have no one to talk to, cuz they were my whole world... and now that they're gone, you don't know who to turn to!

now that you have shown them the door out of life... why won't they get out of your brain??? Aren't you sick of being miserable...

I wonder why we do that.. & I'm sure we have all done it... whether the love affair was real or imaginary.. two way or one way... we all end up moaning & crying over somebody.. & even though we decide that they must go... we just can't get them outta our heads.. Aren't we sick of being miserable???

Everytime I look around me... I see a heartbroken wretched fellow... I see them cry... I've been there too you know... but I find the situation absolutely ludacris... why??? why??? & I ask why??? Why do we pity ourselves? why don't we ever wish to feel that we deserve better & actually try & get outta this? why why why? why don't we ever get sick of being miserable?

The Shocker!

its always been me who has gone away from home... hostel or posting to bangalore, chandigarh or chennai... but on september 4, 2009... i wasn't the one who was going away... it was meri devil... she was going away for a full year and i was so sad... i had made up my mind that no matter what, i will be strong... i will not cry... but when i went to meet her... for the last time before a year apart... and she hugged me... the damn thing just could not stop... 1 tap.. 2 tap.. 3 tap... and then came the whole dead damn river... i handed her the farewell gifts... and she promised me that she'd keep it with her like forever...

i was so sad that she would not be around for my birthday... but she especially bought a sim to call me on my birthday... and i was delighted... i wasn't able to get through her number on her birthday... but when i was "ultimately" able to... i was so bloody excited that it sounded as if it was my bloody own birthday! :P

she is my lucky charm so i treasured the facebook message she sent to wish me all the best for the exams... i had not studied anything for my last exam but i preferred chatting with her for 3 hours over studying for that time... my exams finished on the 19th of november but instead of reconnecting with sleep that night, i kept awake till 5 to help her in the project... i wasn't much help though... she wanted all UK data and all i could offer was indian data!

no matter how busy i am... i never ignore when she pings... and that's exactly what i did when she pinged me on december 5, 2009... she said a hi and asked me if im home or away... i said im home... then she said can you please go upto my place and check how bhabhi is... i was not sure why she asked me for that, all i could think is maybe bhabhi is not well and maybe noone is answering her call... she asked me to go and check it urgently... i got worried and decided, WTF, her place is just 4 houses away from mine, i can go and check even if it be 12 in the night... so i shut my lappy and off i was to check up at her place... and so im standing right in front of her gate and am about to ring the bell... and suddenly i see something and scream at the top of my voice!!!

no... i wasn't scared... it wasn't a ghost... i was super duper delighted... it was my devil.. standing right there in front of my eyes... what, why, when is not important... what's important is that even though it was shocking... it was a superb surprise.. and i totally loved it... im so glad you're back.. even if its just for a month!

Make Your Own Mistakes!

ooo i so thought that im so tough... nothing can deter me... nothing can make me cry... i thought i can change the whole world... make it run on my terms... but you know that does not happen... i was hapless and helpless... i tried my level best but failed miserably... i just could not believe that it happened to me... in continous 5 roll numbers... the 2 above me and the 2 below me got pune (my 1st preference)... n i got chennai??? my 8th preference in a list of 9???

i wanted to kill amar pratap singh... he was after my life that i would be posted to chennai... he had kept saying that for at least 2 weeks now... and now that the list was out... i really had to kill him... thankfully i could not find him, else i would have been doing 14 yeas in jail right now... i was frustrated... irritated... but i tried... i even tried a jack within infy to keep me in chandigarh... but, FUTILE is the word!!!

the last day in chandigarh... i broke down... i ran into the wash room and gradually my "hushed tears" were "loud flowing rivers"... and so it was... i cried... i tried to keep full control of my tears but apparently the flow was just too great! great enough that there was a mass "spectator" crowd of my batch mates right outside the wash room!!! no... they were not there to consolidate me... they were there because they wanted to witness the miracle "my breakdown"!!!

but what nobody knows is what happened after i went to chennai... when i went to chennai, the very first day we moved out of the infy accomodation, i was greeted by vulgur comments, cheap stares and drunkards trying to grope! what nobody knows is that i kept awake every night and slept in the infy dorm in the work hours... what nobody knows is that i rejected projects to get a transfer but still did not get one... what nobody is knows is that i put on 12 kgs there(this part everyone knows) because i turned to food to vent out my frustration(this is what nobody knows)... what nobody knows is that i fought with my parents everyday to allow me to quit the job... what nobody knows is that i cried and howled in the theathre "my ma n pa don't understand me and this is exactly how i feel right now!" when eeshan awasthi cried in the boarding school's washroom (taare zameen pe)... what nobody knows is that i still cry when i remember those days... what nobody knows is i was broken to the extent that i had no confidence left in me... what nobody knows is that my parents let me quit only when i told them "you can either be proud to have had a daughter who worked with infosys or you can have an unemployed daughter!"... what nobody knows is that the infy people actually gave me a one-month leave to go home and change my mind... but what the infosions dont know is that im BLOODY adamant and its almost impossible to influence my decisions!

i may be a loser... cuz i gave up... i may even sound like a whiner.. cuz i probably am 1... but im happy that i make my own mistakes... this way i can't blame nobody else for it... but, that doesn't save you amar, i still hate you for saying that ill get chennai... but i love you for being the friend that you are, for sticking by my side when i desperately needed a fren, for making chandigarh worth-while, and most importantly for helping me find a great friend (madhur) in chennai... oooo, you're wondering how u helped... well, you did.. cuz initailly what we'd do is just bitch about you!!! lol!! :P